Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I don't mean this bad, but...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I don't mean this bad, but...
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...where the hell does one meet gay men? It occurred to me recently that I in fact don't know any my age. Actually most 'gay bars' (to be honest, a heck of a lot of LGBTQ events) have no entry for under 18s in this country. I figure this might be easier at university (assuming I get in) - I'm just curious really, my lesbian best friend mentioned the other day that maybe I should try dating a guy, since I'm showing 'varying tastes', as you might say. And I'm not really sure where to start. The only things I could think of were dating websites, but a lot of the ones I've looked at seem a little risque (the kind of sites that ask for penis length in the registration form).

--------------------
In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, some dating websites are certainly more benign than that. [Smile]

As well, depending on where you are, you may be able to find under-18 clubs, community GLBT groups or GSAs. Even if you're not yet in university, you can likely access some of the resources from one.

Of course, there are probably gay guys where you go to school already, they just aren't all going to be out.

If it helps, it's really very typical to be a bit of a late-bloomer for everyone when it comes to being gay, lesbian or bisexual. In fact, I was just saying at an event this weekend that one of the clearest giveways when we have an adult male troll pretending to be a young lesbian (which has sadly, happened far more than once) is when he reports having loads and loads of sex, something anyone who is or ever has been a young lesbian knows is hardly that easy to find. [Smile]

In other words, this is usually one of those things that gets a lot easier when you get even a little bit older, which I know is probably tiresome to hear, but very often a truism.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The main problem with dating websites for this, at all, is that it seems to me it might be a given that people don't create an account on one in order to be someone's 'experiment' (which isn't the word I'd use, but I'm hardly identifying as gay or even bisexual just yet - just open-minded, and I can appreciate that people wouldn't necessarily be prepared to invest time in dating someone who's simply curious).

Having got into university this morning when I opened my exam results, I am smiling like this :oD and I will perhaps look into the LGBTQ society - in people's experience, do those sort of things tend to be fairly welcoming to people who just aren't sure? The last thing I'd want to do is encroach upon something that's really targeted at other people.

To be honest, Heather, it's not that tiresome to hear - I'm in no hurry to date for its own sake, if that makes sense, and having hung around here for quite a while, I've got used to the fact that you know what you're talking about. [Razz]

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, congrats on getting into uni! Hooray for you!

There is plenty of room in GLBT circles for people who are questioning, really. Where you start to see more dissonance is when we're talking about people who are kind of cruising while questioning, or who are basically looking to do sex tourism in those circles then go back to straight life the next morning, if you know what I mean.

So, the answer is to just be upfront that you're questioning, in any of these situations.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks - I'm going to Birmingham University (UK, not AL) to study medicine. [Smile]
Thanks for your help, I'll bear it in mind and look out for the LGBTQ society at Freshers.

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3