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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Messed up stuff...

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Author Topic: Messed up stuff...
Fredhead
Neophyte
Member # 37768

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So... there's some weird **** happening at this point. I'm a little confused, I feel like I've been caught up in something I don't want to be caught up in, and I wish I could go back to November and start over.

I'm going to try to do this in list form so it'll make sense. Just the facts:

1) I am a bisexual or lesbian seventh-grader in a Catholic girls' school.
2) The word 'gay' is synonymous with 'dumb' or 'weird' at my school.
3) The girls at my school are not homophobes, and they do not think homosexuality is wrong. They think it is "gross."
4) I have/had a crush on a girl in my class, who came to my school at the beginning of the year, and we started to get to be really good friends until I came along and ruined everything by becoming obsessed with her.
5) I am fairly certain I no longer have a crush on her.
6) I am at the point where if anyone asked, I would tell them I was bisexual.
7) For the past two weeks there have been rumors behind my back about my sexuality. My friends have been asked. It bothers me that no one's asked me about it, but it doesn't bother me that people know.
8) Along with these true rumors is another rumor about the girl that I like/liked. This does bother me.
9) I want to be friends with this girl. I do not want to date this girl.
10) Fact: Everyone knows I liked her. Fact: She is part of everyone. Inference: She knows I liked her. Fact: No one knows it's past tense.


I'm just plain confused. I just don't know what to do.

Posts: 18 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Member # 5375

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I don't quite understand what you're asking here. Can you be more specific? Or more Jeopardy-esque and put it in the form of a question? [Wink]
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Fredhead
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Member # 37768

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Well, I just don't really know what to do, or how I feel. The basic idea is, I really want to be friends with... uh... "Kari"... but I'm afraid that the reason she is always too busy to hang out with me is because she thinks that I am creepy.
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Fredhead
Neophyte
Member # 37768

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I ended up sort of taking a plunge and posting this on facebook and myspace...

yes, i am bisexual.
no, i am not any different from you.
yes, i am perfectly willing to talk about boys. obsess all you want.
yes, if you are mean to me for this, I will ignore you.
no, i am NOT attracted to any of you. i highly HIGHLY doubt that I EVER will be.

just clearing that up. i've heard there are rumors going around.

thank you for reading.
f.m.

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hs123
Activist
Member # 35336

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The catholic girls schools down there are definitely a harsh environment when it comes to sexuality.
Theres been a really big push down there in sex ed, but it doesn't seem to have really broken into the catholic school circle. Do you have friends from other schools? Do you have a supportive group of friends, or a friend who supports you?

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Fredhead
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I do have a bunch of close friends who are supportive. Not my sisters -- they think I'm too young to "decide" I'm bi.
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echomikeromeo
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Member # 29978

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That's what my mom said to me when I told her I was bi, when I was 14. Now I'm 18 and that hasn't changed very much. However, it is natural for people's sexualities to evolve - it's certainly fair to say that the place you are at sexually in 7th grade is very different from the place where you will be as an adult.

I can certainly empathize with feeling isolated at school - I can see this being especially difficult in middle school, since a lot of kids don't come out until they're older. If it's any consolation, it does get a bit better when you're older, simply because it's easier to find more people like you.

Posts: 29 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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