Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » u made me feel worse

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: u made me feel worse
danda
Neophyte
Member # 37517

Icon 1 posted      Profile for danda     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ok is going to be a biiig post srry bout that... i really need your advices, experiences, opinions and stuff about this...
im going to skip all the part of coming out ill just said it was really nerve racking and my heart was literally beating as fast as it had ever been in my life

ok so yesterday i came out as bi to 2 of my best friends. they were both quiet for a while and then friend A said "theres nothing wrong with that", "is that why u were soo depressed all this time¿", "we're all people here" and many encouraging things...friend B was just quiet and nodded at everything friend A would say...
ok so i had no idea i could ever feel so relieved and just plain happy and all... friend A asked me all this obvious things you're going to be asked when you come out: how did you know¿ are you sure¿ when did it began¿ was it from one day to another¿
and just stuff i was really expecting.

but today it all changed, i told friend A i wasnt really completely sure and she told me: ok we'll talk in reccess. so it was ok
what she didnt knew was that im not sure im bi or gay(she thinks its either bi or straight)

so we sat on reccess and we were all very serious. i started out by saying: yeah so im not completely sure...
she interrupted me and said:"yeah i thought about this all afternoon yesterday and to my point of view it IS wrong, im religious and yeah god created the man and woman for a reason.

you shouldve seen my face i was in shock and i felt sad again and almost betrayed.
i couldnt speak so she kept going on
"if your not sure maybe youre just confused, youre too young to know that kind of things,u have to tell your parents so they take u with someone(this really hurted a LOT)that can help you, "

i couldnt believe what i was hearing, there were so many thing i just wanted to say but i felt like back stabbed, i felt like if i said anything tears were going to come out of my eyes and i was SHOCKED
the worst thing anyone could say to me at that time was said by her: "if my parents find out about this they wont let me hang out with you"

omg i just sat there taking all her crap, i was soo sad, angry, and hopeless..
she doesnt understand i just CANT tell my parents about this right now, she gets along better than she should with her folks

she built my confidence up yesterday and tore it apart today.
friend B, i talked to her today afternoon, turns out she IS supportive and really helpful and im eternally thankful towards her, she told me that my other friend is just worried about me and about what people will do to me or say to me, she said she was thought since very little that a "boy and a girl" is what it is "normal"

i just know i have to talk to her tomorrow, i cant even eat, sleep nor think about school anymore.
and things with my mom arent going all that great (theyre awful)
i really need some advice about whatever you can say and encouraging phrases( iknow that sounds pathetic and all but still...)

srry bout the long post [Frown] thnx for everything

Posts: 15 | From: mexico | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
Activist
Member # 29292

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cool87         Edit/Delete Post 
I get an idea of how those things that have been said to you might have made you feel, those are not things anyone who is coming out want to hear. I hear you not feeling so great after hearing that.

Part of why she acted that way might be because she has a hard time accepting what you've just told her (although I'm not excusing her behavior in any way, she could have been more understanding for sure) so giving it some time might help.

It might also be a good idea to talk this out with her, I'd personnally be honest with her and tell her how you're feeling, that those things she's told you have hurt you and I'd go from there.

You said things with your mom weren't going great, do you want to talk more about it ? Feel free also to vent here if you need to. That's one of the reasons this place is for. [Smile]

Hang on and let us know how it goes if you want to !

[ 04-10-2008, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

--------------------
Sustain Scarleteen by donating
http://www.scarleteen.com/donate.html

Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
danda
Neophyte
Member # 37517

Icon 1 posted      Profile for danda     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thx for your words i appreciate it...
yeah soo... about my mom...
i think she has changed cause of her new job... but again, i have changed to... maybe its not er, maybe its me.
since i started questioning my sexuality i have changed im sad,mad,depressed,i dont eat as i used to,and im having more problems with my parents.
everytime she asks me what is wrong i tell her "nothing".. of course its a lie but im just not ready to tell her anything about me being bi.
my friends tell me that i have to tell them because they are the people that love me the most and that can "help me". but im afraid cause ive read and heard on internet that many parents react telling terrible things or throwing their kids out of the house, im almost sure they wont throw me out but i can never know for sure.

im just soo NOT ready to tell them and im being pressured by friends A & B to tell them.. i have to tell them when IM reday right¿¿

Posts: 15 | From: mexico | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3