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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » BDSM (Positive stories and feedback)?

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Author Topic: BDSM (Positive stories and feedback)?
Member # 37366

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I'm really going on faith here because I'm not sure where this belongs. However, in my defense, a lot of people consider BDSM to be a sexual preference and therefore part of sexual orientation and identity.

But I get the feeling that you guys mean it more as GLBT topics. So if this needs to be moved, just do what you need to. And sorry for the extra work.

To those who either engage in or have fantasies that include BDSM situations (by which I mean bondage, dominance/submission, sadomasochism and everything in between), when did you first know that this was something you enjoyed?

Do you have any memories of when you saw something or read something or heard about something along those lines that excited you for reasons that you weren't even sure of?

I'm sorry if this is a little personal. I'm just curious and would like to hear stories about people who might understand where I'm coming from.

"Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?"
-Dr. Twardon (Secretary)

Posts: 28 | From: Michigan | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37462

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Sorry to sound ignorant, but what is GLBT?

I have fantasies about it all the time, pretty bizarre ones, going on about four years now. I tried it real time with one partner but that ended up a disaster in the BDSM or D/s area lol. I'm not sure what sparked my curiosity at first, other than knowing I was always on the extra kinky side, even when I was younger and had the bizarrest images in my head.

Posts: 30 | From: Central Florida | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37085

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what does BDSM and GLBT mean? [Razz]


Posts: 88 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 35890

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BDSM refers to "bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism."

GLBT refers to "gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender."

Scarleteen Volunteer

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

Posts: 755 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37085

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ooooooh I didnt know that lol:D


Posts: 88 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sarah Northmead
Member # 37493

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I fully agree that BDSM is a type of sexual orientation. As far as I know I've been interested all my life. As an avid bookworm, my favorite parts of stories were always the parts where the hero would get captured or be in dire peril or what have you. Looking back, I think a lot of that developed into the more sexual BDSM fantasies that I experience as an adult.

I know I was practicing self-bondage before I even knew what BDSM was, as far back as elementary school. (Side note: this was not a good thing, because I didn't know the first thing about safety and could easily have done myself a lot of permanent physical damage.) I was deathly ashamed and frightened of what I was doing all through high school, because I thought there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until I went to college and got a laptop, with the accompanying private internet access, that I learned I wasn't alone in my interests. Even then it took meeting a very supportive and caring boyfriend for me to become fully comfortable with my kink.

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Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(FYI, this is a fine topic here, strawberrywine. While I personally still prefer to keep the definition of sexual orientation within the parameters of sexology's definition as about gender, for a number of reasons -- including not making definitions of things so broad as to become useless when it comes to how they were designed to be used and are most commonly used: defining BDSM as an orientation is tricky, too, because so many people with that interest have just as much interest in other dynamics and activities, and because defining what those boundaries and lines are is even more murky than gender/sex lines tend to be -- BDSM is certainly an issue of sexual identity, which is the other half of this forum. But thanks for double-checking!)

[ 03-15-2008, 04:12 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Member # 95720

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I've been into BDSM since maybe the 4th grade - thats when i learned of it.....i started connecting myself to it by 6th or 7th. I'm a submissive/slave, and i'm scared and confused, not of myself - i fully accept who i am and what i like PROUDLY [Big Grin] - but of society and the people around me. My vanilla family found out and it didn't end well. the "talk" was extremely damaging. Now i'm really trying to find people also in 'the bdsm society/scene' who are willing to talk to me....I don't know who to turn to or where to start.

"If We Stand Together We Will Be Unbroken."

Posts: 3 | From: California | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36720

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I had had some fantasies in the past about wanting to be calling certain names during sex, but I didn't fully realize that I was into BDSM until I was several months into my relationship. It's nothing too hardcore, and it was actually a really fun adventure (although scary at times). My partner would sometimes ask me to do something or say something or wear something and I was usually up for it...and I dunno, I eventually just started adding suggestions myself. I'm a sub and he's a dom, although sometimes we switch, and I have got to say discovering this "side" of myself has been really great and made for some really awesome sex. [Smile] It's also helped us build communication, and not get hung up on "mistakes". One time, he said something I was uncomfortable with, but rather than stop everything, I was able to communicate that that wasn't ok and he instantly switched his language. Afterwards, we talked about it. We've also gotten really good at reading body language.

(Of course, if you ever need/want to stop in order to talk something out in order to make yourself feel more comfortable, definitely do that! It was just a interesting turn for me personally.)

This is a fun thread [Smile] heehee!

Posts: 186 | From: Richmond, VA | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48854

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Well...I was a...somewhat early to mature teenager, who was reading her mother's "grown-up books" and later, looking up stories online, when I was maybe 14 or 15. From an older viewpoint, I'm lucky I didn't get a computer virus-somehow I managed to find an online story site that didn't have anything to mess up the computer. I decided to look around the BDSM section...not actually knowing what BDSM stood for...and stumbled upon one story that suddenly just felt right. I don't even know how to explain it, but from a young age when I was having "me time", my mental scenarios generally consisted of being tied up, or helpless in some way, around someone I trusted (considering how many of those scenarios featured my best friend, I wonder, looking back, why it took me so long to realize I was interested in ladies). The stories on there just gave me an actual word for the fantasies.

Most of my fantasies, lately, have been a lot more vanilla, because I'm still trying to work out the logistics of how to manage bondage without slipping hypermobile joints around too much. The last thing I want is to be having "me time" in my room and start screaming in pain when I orgasm because I managed to wrench a knee out of socket.

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Member # 96002

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For as long as I've been able to remember, I was weirdly fascinated with scenes in TV/Movies and books where characters were tied up, controlled, or hurt. It kinda crossed over into my real life when I was a pre-teen and I would try to get my best friend to engage in what I now know was a D/s situation with me. At the time, I wasn't aware it was sexual; just that it made me feel all tingly and badgood. Ironically enough, I felt very little shame, because nobody had ever talked to me about it, and because it wasn't mainstream(or at least in my stream) I wasn't aware it was stigmatized. Then I discovered the internet at ten or eleven, and I realized I wasn't alone! In fandom, we were called "whumpers". And THEN I got into fanfic and realized that, hey, it had a name! And that name was BDSM.

So, long story short, yes, it's my kink, and it has been for many years. To be honest I really can't wait to have a partner I trust enough to try some stuff out for ourselves.

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Member # 96015

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I had a lot of fantasies that involved elaborate punishment rituals when I was little - they weren't intensely sexual, as I didn't really know much about sex at the time. but looking back I definitely see their connection to my kinky interests today. They mainly involved Victorian or medieval scenarios of master/servant interactions, I think probably because I read so much historical fiction. =P

I first tried actually playing with BDSM in high school with my boyfriend of the time, who had lymphoma (now in full remission) and wasn't supposed to let me get in contact with his bodily fluids too often because he was pumped full of so much chemotherapy medication. We decided to get inventive about ways to be intimate in spite of that, so I did some research. I made a pair of handcuffs with fabric and industrial strength velcro using a guide I found online, so that they'd be comfy and adjustable and removable at a moment's notice if necessary - I was really paranoid about safety - and we also did a lot of biting and spanking. I never really stopped being interested in it after that.

Now I'm in college and am part of a polyamorous triad with two other wonderful, kinky people, and there is even a little club for kinky people on our campus. Rest assured, you are not at all alone in your BDSM interests.

Posts: 62 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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