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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » big question

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Author Topic: big question
Member # 37327

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I am a guy and I get hit on allot by other guys.On the weekend I let a guy go down on me for first time.Problem goes is I liked it more than when girls go down on me.if I am gay thats cool maybe but I have a girl friend I feel kind of messed for doing it and not telling her.Some times I want to just run and not stop.Thank you.
Posts: 6 | From: texas | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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First things first: You should do the decent thing and let your girlfriend in on what's going on. Aside from the fact that you cheated, you are also questioning your sexuality, which might impact the relationship in the long run. So, your girlfriend has a right to know. (Plus, if you did not use protection, you might have put yourself at risk for STIs, so it's only fair if you let her know.)

It seems like you'd be okay with your sexuality either way, and just need some time and space to sort it all out. So give yourself that time. And remember that there's no rush to settle on a label. Just make sure that, whatever conclusions you come to, you need to be honest with your girlfriend as long as you are in this relationship.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Do remember, too, that there are more than two sexual orientations, gay and straight. If you are finding you feel attracted to, and are sexually active with, both men and women it's far more reasonable to surmise that you may be bisexual than that you may be homosexual.

But right now, the issue with your girlfriend has more to do with nonmonogamy than anything else. If she and you have agreed on monogamy and you haven't honored that (no matter the gender of your partners), you need to let her know, for all the reasons Joey mentioned.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37462

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You may have been acting out of curiosity, especially when exposed to the temptation so often. I know of someone who questioned his sexual identity. He said he enjoyed oral with men (the details are a bit too off the wall to post here), but he was not attracted to men per se and didn't think of men sexually at any time.

Sounds strange, I know, but I'm just trying to show you labels don't always account for everything. Do you think of men sexually in other ways? I'm glad to see you're okay with the fact that you may be gay.

Posts: 30 | From: Central Florida | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37327

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Thank to everyone that helped me. I think you guys think I'm just slooper on booty call and don't care about anyone but me. I'm not like that I talked to Tina about what I did and she is ok now with it.I come from Cambodia and when I come here she was first friend I got.I didn't speak English good and my family was real messed and this is a real bad place to live if you don't know the streets good.I never can hurt her I can die before I can hurt her.We talked and said we are to young to not do what we want.I'm not going to get messed about if im gay or not I just go with it and have fun.About what I think about guys I don't want to write here when everyone on scarlet teen can read it.Bye Shawn.
Posts: 6 | From: texas | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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