.... But I'm still hiding in the closet, way in the back, and if I got any further I'd end up in Narnia. If anyone is wondering, in this sense, a Chimera is not a Greek mythic monster. A Chimera is a person who typically has their fraternal twin merge with them in utero, giving them two sets of DNA. I have a twin brother in my blood, my leg, my hip, and my back - as far as I know. I'm not like some Chimeras, who have half the genitals of one sex and half of the other, which is something I'm grateful for. But I do have my 'brothers' hormones running around me. I'm pretty sure that is where my feelings come from. And to just make my life - and everyone reading this - a little more confused, I have bit of a split personality. In, guess who? the form of my 'brother', the male version of me. As a side note, I know this is sounding like an explanation or a documentary, but I've never admitted that about the 'other me' I'm around all the time. To type that felt good. Now, back to the point. I'm Bisexual. I know that. My physical body is bisexual as is my mental state. I've only had one 'girlfriend', my best friend of four years, and she is a closeted Bi too, so no one knows about our two summer relationship. And the weirdest thing? When I'm with a girl... it's weird. Itís like there's me, Alley (as is my nickname) and then there is Will (or 'Spike' as I sometimes call him). When I'm with a girl itís like me, Alley is watching, and not doing. Like Will is in control of me, and saying, and doing, and feeling things. I don't mind, but itís weird, and I'm terrified to tell anyone that not only am I bisexual but that I'm also two people crammed in one head and both sides like girls and guys. Needless to say this is very odd for me, and -I can only assume - a strange occurrence. It's like I'm living as two people. Me, and Him. It is part of the reason why I haven't just jumped into coming out. If I told people about my bi-ness, then I'd still have to tell them about my Chimera-ness. I'd just be stepping from one closet and into an even more complicated one. But now that I've given you all the reasons why I don't want to come out. Does anyone have any suggestions about how I could broach the subject to my mom? (Who believes that all 'bisexuals' are just in it for the fad thing. And when she had bi friends in college, who dated same sex people, she thought they were lying.... See my dilemma?) Any help, advice, suggestions, or just plain sympathy would be helpful. And if you're a Chimera too, please! Post here!
As I understand it, Alley -- though you're probably better versed than I with this condition -- when a chimera does have two different sets of chromosomes that effect organs, it's usually internal organs (not things like external genitals, which is exceptionally rare and I couldn't find a single case of this morning in my research: external genital issues when it comes to chromosomal differences are more likely to be due to intersex conditions, and even then, we're talking about variations more than half-and-half genitals), and most folks won't ever know this is the case, since it doesn't tend to impact anything. Sometimes, very rarely, those extra cells will be visibly different, like having two different colored eyes.
But I just did some digging and cannot find any medical accounts of the kinds of personality issues you're describing, so if you're having those, that's something I'd say is what you'd want to talk to a counselor or therapist about, and I'd also not leap and consider that this is actually about your genetics. Really, even if this was related to your genetics, people with dissociative identity disorders usually need therapy and some kind of treatment in order to be able to function well.
For that same reason, I don't see telling anyone that you simply have a cell difference as a big deal. (And check out that link above: I found more than one source where researchers felt this was something that most people may have some aspect of at this point.) In other words, I'm not sure why you feel that is a closeted issue. If you do, indeed, have a split personality, that's obviously a different matter and it would be understandable that that's tough to tell someone about, particularly since life with a split personality partner can be very challenging sometimes.
In terms of coming out to your Mom, if you don't feel like now is the right time, you get to wait for the right time. If you do want to do it now, and are just worried she'll discount you, then I'd talk with her about it making clear that you really need her acceptance, and that you'd benefit from her reconsidering her opinions on bisexuality, maybe doing some more research. "Bi Any Other Name" is one book I can think of to pass on to her.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me ē Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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i am bi and proud but not a Chimera i how ever use to discride my feelings and thoughts of three other peoples maggie, traince, and phillise they were the three people inside my head who helped me think about different points of view and understand things. i unlike you however never felt that i was under their control or anything becuase they were me it was my way for a time of explaning my moods some times or explaning how i could feel two ways about something... in the end i think you may just want to have another way of explain some thing or looking at the world. we all have voices in our head a jiminy cricket or a bad boy side for some people they are louder then others if it does bother you then you should talk to a therapist about it though you got to do what is best for you
Posts: 9 | From: vancouver | Registered: Mar 2008
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