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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » It troubles my boyfriend...

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Author Topic: It troubles my boyfriend...
Member # 36250

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My boyfriend and I have only been together 3 months, but we are extraordinarily close. We talk about absolutely everything, and he is alway very understanding... apart from two things: my sexuality and my past.

I'm not exactly bisexual, as I'm more attracted to a relationship with guys, but the thought [and act] of doing something with a girl really excites me. I also used to smoke, dabbled slightly in drugs and went and got drunk on a rather regular basis: although this doesn't bother me [I am comfortable with who I am/was] he finds it hard to accept.

What can I do to persuade him that I am over that period in my life, and that although I'm attracted to girls, I really do love him? I've tried so much, and also tried leaving it be, but he can't get past it...

Posts: 7 | From: Leicestershire | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Straight people often tend to forget that heterosexuality doesn't guarantee love or loyalty of one person any more than anything else. Were you exclusively heterosexual, that still would not mean you would really love this guy, or would only love this guy. Because your potential dating pool does or has also included women does not make it any more likely you wouldn't really love him than would be the case if it did not.

Too, because the idea of something excites you or you have sexual fantasy that isn't only about him doesn't mean you don't love him. I'm sure he has sexual fantasies which aren't about you, too.

Ultimately, per this and the other stuff, part of love really is acceptance, and that absolutely includes who a person has been through their whole life, before someone met them. perhaps he's presuming you can't really love him because he's projecting his inability to accept you?

[ 12-26-2007, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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