Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » bi-curious?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: bi-curious?
Member # 36168

Icon 5 posted      Profile for lizzie89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
when i was a bit younger, i watched a show where there was a lot of lesbians in it on MTV. watching it made me feel awful so i stopped but then i was constantly worrying if that made me a lesbian or bisexual. i am attracted to guys but now, the thought of doing something sexual with a female doesnt bother me at all (in fact i like it) but i've never had a crush on a girl. would you consider that just bi-curious? i'm just a tad confused, but not worried.
(sorry if this is similar to another post, i looked but couldn't find any that were similar)

Posts: 49 | From: US | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, homophobia is really pervasive. Plenty of people feel awful about feeling any kind of same-sex attraction -- or even curiosity about it -- but that's largely due to homophobia.

What you fantastize about really isn't a big indicator of your sexuality. Plenty of people fantasize about group sex, for instance, who are and want to be nothing but monogamous in real life. Too, people who aren't attracted to something tend to be just that: just not attracted or bothered. having a strong AVERSION to something not only isn't required to not being that thing, when it comes to orientation, it's not sensible to expect to have an aversion to people you aren't attracted to. The only way that really makes sense is because of things like homophobia, or with strongly negative or traumatic experiences with those people.

But either way, even if later in your life (or now) you came to find that you did have feelings for real-life women, and found you were bisexual or lesbian, that's all just fine.

By the by, I don't mean to blow off the "bi-curious" thing. It's just that I gotta tell you, that's a term I have some real problems with as do a lot of GLBT folks (especially since it's just so porny). It also tends to, if you're going to pursue dating women, be a real turn-off, since most people don't really want to be someone's personal experiment. And we don't have "hetero-curious," you know? A better term, if you want one, for someone uncertain about their orientation is simply "questioning."

[ 12-20-2007, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
plain milyeh
Member # 32511

Icon 1 posted      Profile for plain milyeh     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i second heather's aversion to the term "bi-curious"...for the reasons she cited, but also, it's just kind of hilarious.

i mean, it generally refers to a hitherto-straight-identified person who is "curious" about the same sex, yes? but is that really "curiosity"? i mean, it's a lot easier to learn about the bits your own sex has *without* a partner than it is to learn about the bits of the opposite sex. thus i don't quite get how girl-on-girl action is automatically classified as a "curiosity"...unless you're talking from a creepy male spectator's point of view...which i guess brings us right back to porn, eh?

Posts: 108 | From: caaaaanada. ('cause we've got rocks and trees and trees and rocks...) | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 37964

Icon 1 posted      Profile for hicutiepie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I feel the same way, I mean boys are great, but sometimes I do fantasize or think about being with a girl.
I think it def. considers both of us bi-curious. [Big Grin]

Posts: 2 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3