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LBelle22
Activist
Member # 35782

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...tell someone that you're bisexual? Do you just casually mention it? What do you say when you're going out with someone (a man or woman)? I know that I shopuld tell said person, I just haven't quite grasped how yet. Help!

Thanks so much,
Lauren

Posts: 40 | From: Providence, RI | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You know, I don't really see any NEED for disclosure early in the dating game. If someone needs to know the orientation of someone they're dating, they'll ask. Too, when you talk about previous dating history, and your history has male and female partners, it's pretty self-evident. If, when just dating, you're still dating others, then there is a need to mention that you are dating other people, too. Who those other people are and what's between their legs isn't often relevant.

As far as more ongoing or longer-term relationships go, if you're realizing or have just realized you're bisexual, then not telling is sort of leaving a chunk of yourself out of the equation, so telling becomes more important. (People "objecting" in my book isn't a reason to "need" to tell, by the by: anyone who I wound up dating who was homophobic or biphobic wouldn't work out for me per my own criteria because of accepting me and many of the friends I call family, so that's not something I tend to consider or feel anyone else should have to.)

In terms of how to tell? How about, "Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about something important to me. I've realized that I'm bisexual."

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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