Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » What Do You Say When...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: What Do You Say When...
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17924

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JamsessionVT     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
someone exclaims "that's so GAY!"

That saying has been around since I was in middle school, but I'm hearing it more and more now. While I do identify as heterosexual, it still bothers me when I hear others using that phrase. I always think to myself "well, I SUPPOSE that 12 page paper was happy, or just MAYBE those protests were content, but somehow I'm not quite sure..."

Alright, all kidding aside, how you y'all react when you here those words? Do you react at all? Have you ever said something to a friend or classmate when they used that phrase? Does it bother you, or are you OK with it? Go on, discuss!

Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Us? Keep Us Around by Donating!

Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28733

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ASargent42     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Unfortunately, that is the big thing with my brothers' age group right now (they are 14/15, freshman in high school). I cannot count the number of times I've reprimanded him for saying that. I always get into the real meaning of the word, and does being really happy really pertain to the situation he was using the phrase about, and if he has issues with homosexuals, and so on. He usually gets it, and won't say it for awhile.

I hang out with an awesome group of people, some of whom are bi. So none of us ever break out that phrase. I find it to be pretty immature, So I am actually pretty quick to jump on people who do use the phrase, and remind them why it's not exactly pc.

Scarleteen Volunteer

Help us out- Donate!

Posts: 1152 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I haven't heard that phrase in a while, because the people I hang with are just too old for that kind of thing. But I have been known to speak up and complain about that use of the word gay.

My favourite story concerning that comes from my 9th grade Physics class, when we had a sub come in one day and give us assignments. This incredibly obnoxious boy started muttering about how gay that was and I asked him what he knew about the sexual orientation of his assignment. The sub heard us and launched into a lecture on the etymology of the word 'gay' and the ridiculousness of using it in that context. I've never seen the obnoxious boy that silent.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 34755

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Narwhal     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I haven't heard that one in quite a while, either. I did, however, come across a notation from the author of a comic I read, which said something like "Several readers have commented that this comic is gay. I apologize for the sexual orientation of my comic." I thought that effectively showed how absurd the comments were.
Posts: 147 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, about the only time I even hear that anymore are when gay or queer friends of mine (or myself) are using it as a descriptor, or as illustration of a stereotype. In other words, pretty literally and in good spirit.

As in "Two day Liza Minelli marathon? So gay!" [Razz]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27966

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Leabug     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I actually hear this constantly- there are a lot of teens that hang out where I work, and it definately seems like the younger set say it much more (the middle school bunch). But it does seem to be falling out of favor as slang, at least among the older teens! Trouble is, it's not really my position to correct these kids, as parents seem to get pretty touchy whenever we tell their kids not to do or say certain things (as if we're insulting their ability to parent). [Frown]


Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Gah! I hear it all the time and it grates. If my friends say it my response tends to be either, "No, I'm gay, not the [whatever]," or just a friendly reminder that gay doesn't mean what they think it means.

If the person using it is someone I'm less comfortable with I ask them just how [whatever] is expressing its sexuality. That tends to completely derail conversation because I do expect an explanation, so people typically remember not to misuse that word in front of me.

I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns. --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Even "The Simpsons" made fun of its use:

[To Nelson, the school bully.] "Dude, you kissed a girl! That is soo gaaay!"

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
plain milyeh
Member # 32511

Icon 1 posted      Profile for plain milyeh     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
casual shaming is my favourite strategy, i think.

person: that's so gay.
me: yup. all the time with the hot same-sex sex, that exam/party/food/thing.
person: heheh, oh, i'm kinda lame.
me: whatever, man.

doesn't always work, but generally pretty effective with people i'm close enough to really be bothered about their language use.

Posts: 108 | From: caaaaanada. ('cause we've got rocks and trees and trees and rocks...) | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Windy-La Raindrop
Member # 35470

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Windy-La Raindrop     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
*grin* I've had a great family champion- one of my aunts had a TON of GLBT friends in college, and has pretty much literally eradicated that use of the phrase among my multitudes of cousins, which really amuses me.

Among other people I know? My age group is mostly too old, so I call them out on acting like they're in middle school. Actual middle schoolers and high schoolers, I usually just say "Really?" in that defend-your-statement tone. If that doesn't get through to them, I usually ask them how they determine the (insert noun here)'s sexual orientation. Fun to watch their faces.

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

Posts: 23 | From: On the third shelf, right next to the ketchup. | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3