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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » bi or not? Now I'm just confused!

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Author Topic: bi or not? Now I'm just confused!
Spectral Dream
Neophyte
Member # 36023

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So lately I've been confused because I just recently realized I might be bi. At first I was not sure but after thinking about it it made my life to seem to make alot more sence. I felt like I must have always been bi. For years I've been blocking off thoughts of having any attraction to girls but now it seems okay to think a girl is cute and want to kiss and etc. Then I did not feel so confused anymore.

But now I'm confused all over again because I've realized I'm not really sexually attracted to girls. I really like the idea of kissing, cuddling, making out, and having a relationship with a girl but the idea of fingering completely turns me off. But with guys I'm both romantically and sexually attracted to them. I'm not ready for sex with guys but the idea of it does not turn me off.

So if I'm not sexually attracted to girls am I straight or am I bi?

Peace&Love
Bunny

Posts: 3 | From: us | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Spectral Dream
Neophyte
Member # 36023

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oops I didn't mean to post this twice
is there some way I can delete one?

Posts: 3 | From: us | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
NaiveIntellectual
Neophyte
Member # 36043

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From what I've seen, you can't delete it, a mod will come around eventually to though.

On your confusion: At this point, it seems your really just hitting an issue of semantics.

Most 'average' people would probably say you are bisexual if they knew you were romantically attracted to both men and women. However, your description of your relationship towards women seems to be more romantic than sexual by what you have said.

If you define sexuality by purely sexual attraction, then I suppose you are heterosexual. If you do it by attraction in general, then you would likely want to use the title bisexual.

In the end though, it is just a label, to call yourself heterosexual or bisexual are both completely valid. I would suggest you just choose whatever one you identify or like most (it seems like bisexual in your case).

Also, if its only an issue of fingering turning you off, are you sure it is just that you do not enjoy one sexual act instead of a lack of sexual attraction to women in general? Its similar to the idea of vaginal intercourse being the 'end goal' in heterosexual relationships. Its assumed, but not necessarily true. Maybe you just like different forms of intercourse with women than men?

Just throwing that out there, I obviously know less about your situation than you, but I wanted to put the idea forward.

Posts: 1 | From: Florida | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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(Got the other thread, no worries.)

Have you seen the Kinsey scale? It gives a broader view than just homo/hetero/bi and might give you some context.

--------------------
I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns. --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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