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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » How to get him to stop!

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Author Topic: How to get him to stop!
Member # 35770

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I have a friend (he's 13 years old) that keeps obsessing about his sexual orientation. Nearly every time I talk to him, he proudly boasts that he's either bi or straight. Inevitably, he'll doubt his earlier confidence and begin to stress over which he really is. This has happened more times than I can count, and every time I tell him that it's not healthy to be this preoccupied with his sexuality. He's thirteen and his hormones are having a wonderful few years at the county fair, so he's going to be confused about this for a while, and needs to stop incessantly mulling over it. However, no matter how many people give him the same (or similar) advice, he doesn't get it. What do you think I should tell him? Thanks


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Posts: 17 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Sometimes words will fall on deaf ears.

With that said, I'd emphasize that a person's identity is much more than his or her sexual orientation. People who obsess over the label they slap on themselves ought to be reminded of the other traits that make them the people we know and love.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I too have obsessed about my orientation during different times in my life--in part because of my anxiety, which has an OCD component. While it's likely that you're friend is just mulling things over, his obsessiveness could possibly be part of an anxiety disorder. (Though this is entirely from my own perspective as someone who's suffered from anxiety in the past, so I'm naturally more likely to suspect it in other people [Wink] )

But if he worries about other things as well, he might want to check in with a conselor, or take an online depression and anxiety screening test.

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Posts: 83 | From: Northeast | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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