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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » About me and a girl...a very pretty girl

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Author Topic: About me and a girl...a very pretty girl
grlnxtdr23
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Ok so there's this girl at my job whom I'm attracted to. I'm not putting a label on myself becuase this is the first girl I've actually been attracted to like this before. When I first started the job, she kinda helped me out a lot. I told her in a casual but meaningful way I thought she was pretty. Sometimes I think she flirts with me, but can this be because I like her, and I'm only seeing what I want to see. She'll tell me things like she loves me (but in a casual way) and that she wants to hang out with me, and one time at work she was in a really good mood and I jokingly asked her why she was so bubbly and she was like cause she likes me and she's been wanting to tell me but she was self-conscience. Then we both kinda laughed it off. Is she just being playful? Or could there be something more?
Posts: 13 | From: Sometown, TX | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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It can sometimes be confusing to tell whether or not a certain person likes us by the way she/he acts. Maybe she's also not even sure herself, at this point, about her feelings towards you. It can often take some time, that's something that might become more obvious as you both spend more time together.

It's also easy to sometimes laugh it off after we've just told another person something when we're nervous and not sure of how that other person will react to what you've just told her. So it's very possible, even though she laughed it off, that she really did mean what she said to you.

She seemed to have maybe showed a bit of interest towards you from what you said given she said she'd be interested in going out with you. So if you are interested as well, and you seemed to be, then how about maybe asking her if she'd like to go out sometimes and take it from there ? [Smile] The worst thing that can happen is that you get a no. But at least you would have asked her.

Or even better since she already showed that interest of going out with you before you could simply tell her something like : ''Hey. you've told me the other day that you were interested in going out with me sometimes. Do you have anything planned this week-end (or any other time) ? How about going/doing (a certain thing) ? Would you be interested in that ?'' ? This is as simple as that. [Smile]

[ 10-07-2007, 01:34 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
grlnxtdr23
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So, I apologize for the multiple posts, didn't know how to use this. But I took that advice and we actually went out bowling this past weekend. She was there and a couple of other co-workers. Two other females and two other males. We got pizza first, and i realized I left my money @ home and since i didnt live far away, told everyone that I was gonna be right back. She asked to come with me and she rode back with me. Then when we got back to the pizza place, we were both leaning against this bar thingy not really saying much just kinda listning to everyone else (it was another awkward moment). Then at the bowling alley while i was getting a drink she stood really close next to me and asked what i was getting. Another incident when it was my turn to bowl, i was doing bad, she came up, put her arm around my waist and was trying to show me how to roll better. Last incident was I had a headache from the drinks and i put my head in her lap and she stroked my back with her fingertips. So, what should I do now? What does it sound like to you? Also FYI, just to let you know her webpage says she's straight, but then again so does mine.
Posts: 13 | From: Sometown, TX | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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Well I pretty much think the key here is to go with your feelings, really. Did you enjoy going out with her, did she also seem to have enjoyed the time she spent with you ? And would you like to spend some more time with her again ? If so, how about maybe going out for it and simply asking her ? You've already done that so it shouldn't be this hard, right ?

(And, that's okay, really. Apologies accepted. :) )

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
grlnxtdr23
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I think we both had a really good time, but I guess what I'm really trying to figure out (without asking her directly) is if she has the same feelings for me as I do for her, or is she just playing around and is really straight and not even curious at all. I'm really afraid to approach her about the subject cause i don't want to seem so serious (I don't want her to think I'm madly in love with her) I just want to try things with her, cause she is the first girl to make me feel this way about another female. Are there any signs you can give me to look for, perhaps that can give me the right away to bring up this subject and how?
Posts: 13 | From: Sometown, TX | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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You know, I think if you really want to know the best thing is to ask her directly instead of just trying to look out for signs that might just leave you as clueless, if not more.

So how about maybe just asking her something like : '' I'm curious as to how you feel about me. Do you have any feelings towards me ? And if so, what are those ? ''. But as I said, she might be confused at this point of the relationship as to how she really feels but it's worth an ask even though.

Also, I think this might be helpful if you are honest and open about your feelings too with her and that you do not lie about any feeling/try to hide any feeling you might have towards her. If you expect her to be honest with you, then I think it's just only fair that you are too with her.

[ 10-19-2007, 05:45 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
across the universe
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when I wanted to initiate a relationship with another woman for the first time, I started off by coming out to her, and once I did that, she did the same to me and then she asked me out! sometimes it works out perfectly by just giving someone the right hint or cue..

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Nailo
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I think a good place to start would be to casually bring up the subject of homosexuality in a conversation, see what her reaction is, and see what she thinks of it. Based on that, decide what you want to do. Was she receptive? If she was, then you can consider coming out to her (yes, even if you normally have identified as straight... remember orientation isn't a cookie cutter), as across the universe mentioned. We cannot guarantee that you will have such a fairy tale result as she did (congrats on that one, ATU [Smile] ), but you can try. Once she knows you're interested in women, it may be easier to approach her about your feelings towards her in particular. I wish you the best of luck [Smile] .

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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grlnxtdr23
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Thank u all for your help. I've mentioned to her that I have some gay guy friends and we were talking and she was like yeah its nice to have some gay guy friends and she said she did too. I also mentioned a relationship issue with one of my guy friends who was gay, and she didn't seemed repulsed or anything by it. Does this count? We are supposed to be going to the movies this weekend, just the two of us. Any advice on that? lol.
Posts: 13 | From: Sometown, TX | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
plain milyeh
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it's good to know she's not homophobic, but i don't know if that really tells you how inclined she might be towards sexy activities with you...

you might want to be a little more direct about it. you don't really have to "come out" to her (or even have anything in particular to come out as), but there's always the option of casually mentioning that even if you're straight, some girls are undeniably gorgeous. you don't have to make it about her...maybe there's a celebrity "for example" you can think of who's an exception to the rule for you? this is pretty ambiguous, as come-ons go. i've had straight girls tell me things like this all the time without it taking on any flirtatious undertones...but if she's looking for what you're looking for, then you'll have made a clear opening for her to mention as much, or at least bring up the general topic of so-do-you-think-you-might-ever-do-things-with-a-lady-type in a pretty non-threatening kinda way.

Posts: 108 | From: caaaaanada. ('cause we've got rocks and trees and trees and rocks...) | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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