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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I think I'm bi. Okay...Now what?

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Author Topic: I think I'm bi. Okay...Now what?
InvisibleInk
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Member # 33068

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I'd like to start off by saying that I'm a girl. This is my first time coming out in any sort of way. It's extremely awkward, and I've never admitted it before because I was afraid that writing about my suspicions would only turn them into realities. Not that I've ever had a problem with any sexualities, it's just that if it's true that I'm bisexual, it would throw my lifestyle way off balance.
Lately, I've been questioning my sexuality mainly because of one person. There's this girl who has caught my eye. She's older than me by about 3 or 4 years, actually. She's not all that physically attractive, but looks have never really mattered to me. The thing that I love is that she's one of the most charming people I've ever met, and yes, I have had fantasies about her. I can see myself in a happy relationship with her. I could go into details, but to save time I'll summarize: I love her.
My problem: The fact that she's older than me would make people look at me funny. The fact that she's a girl would make people look at me funny. And, of course, my parents (who still worry about me all the time) would freak out.
I'm not sure if she's gay. She's joked about it, and sometimes even hinted when it's just us, but I really want to be sure before suggesting anything.
And... She'll only be here for a few more months before moving to another part of the country.

So, should I follow this star-crossed love that's been troubling me for the past few months or just try and hold over until she's gone, wondering what we could have been?
And if I DO make a move... how?

EDIT: And yes, I'm a total artistic tomboy type.

[ 03-14-2007, 02:08 AM: Message edited by: InvisibleInk ]

Posts: 2 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Surferchk07
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Member # 32276

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First nothing is majorly going to change now that your admitting your bisexual. I mean in all honesty its all the same, You live life day by day and if you choose to date someone of the same sex than yeah things will be different but you as a person do not change you are who you are and always will be.

As for this girl, You said shes hinted about being gay to you? To mean that sounds like maybe she is, alot of times people will hint about it or joke about it before admitting it because they are scared to admit it.

Honestly If you dont ask this girl out your going to regret it or look back on it like "what if?" so I suggest maybe asking her "Hey do you want to go see a movie with me?" if you phrase it like that she wont think it can either be a date or just as friends...Than at the movie you can talk to her more and maybe depending on the flirting and all that hold hands or make a move.

Best bet. Tell her how you feel. Talk to her, Tell her you think your bisexual and see what she says from there. Once you tell her she may tell you that shes bi or gay you never know.
Only way to find out is to talk to her about it.

Oh one more thing. You being a "Artistic tomboy type" has nothing to do with you being gay/bisexual. I know plenty of Artist and tomboys who are straight. Sexuality isnt just about what you do in your life, its who you are.

[ 03-14-2007, 03:55 AM: Message edited by: Surferchk07 ]

--------------------
Elizabeth

"Peace is not the absence of war; it is a virtue; a state of mind; a disposition for benevolence; confidence; and justice." -Spinoza

Posts: 154 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
InvisibleInk
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Member # 33068

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Thanks. Yeah, I only put that last part in there because I've been reading other messages, trying to figure out how to word mine, and I realized that perhaps I should put something in about my gender confusion, but I didn't word that effectively. And what I meant by it throwing my life off balance was how people would react to it. My surroundings, unfortunately, aren't the most accepting. But I really think it's going to be worth it.

Sorry for being pretty naive about all this. Either way, thank you. It's really good advice.

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Surferchk07
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Member # 32276

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quote:
Originally posted by InvisibleInk:
Thanks. Yeah, I only put that last part in there because I've been reading other messages, trying to figure out how to word mine, and I realized that perhaps I should put something in about my gender confusion, but I didn't word that effectively. And what I meant by it throwing my life off balance was how people would react to it. My surroundings, unfortunately, aren't the most accepting. But I really think it's going to be worth it.

Sorry for being pretty naive about all this. Either way, thank you. It's really good advice.

Does your school have a Gay/Straight alliance? Or something like that where you can go hang out with people who are accepting?

I grew up in TX, So I understand the surroundings thing. The thing is you cant let people get to you. Theres alot of naive people in the world who are going to say things to you for the rest of your life about anything. Not just about you being gay/bi/straight/...But when those people say stuff you just have to ignore them and walk the other way.

--------------------
Elizabeth

"Peace is not the absence of war; it is a virtue; a state of mind; a disposition for benevolence; confidence; and justice." -Spinoza

Posts: 154 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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