Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » the fluidity of bisexuality

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: the fluidity of bisexuality
Tenshi_XI
Activist
Member # 32522

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tenshi_XI     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So, I've been doing a ton of research on GLBT. Granted, I already knew quite a bit, but I'm still learning quite a bit more.

There's one thing that has popped up in about 70% of the websites that I find: That Bisexuality is essentially a layover to gay/lesbian.

Now this was quite an interesting idea, so, I did wind up asking Isaac, who has become basically my go-to person fo all questions. Lucky him. He's being a good sport about it actually.

Anyway, I ask him what his opinion was about bisexuality, and the layover theory.

He got very quite at first, then expressed his thanks that I asked the question. At the time, when I came out to him, he wanted to say something, but he felt it would upset me too much. It has been his experience, at being out for 10 years, that people who come out as Bi, do eventually simply come out as gay/lesbian. In fact, humorously, he said he only knew one truly Bi person, and she wasn't exactly the most stable person he knew. All offenses aside, he was glad I asked, and I was happy he gave me his honest opinion.

I'm going to ask John his opinion next, though I think I already know it. When I came out to him, there was something he said, that at the time I gave no heed, but after some thinking, is interesting. He said (paraphrase) "This sort of thing changes all the time. No matter how you eventually end up, it's all okay."

Very interesting. I have a feeling he was being very much like Isaac, not wanting to say anything for fear that he would upset me further (at the time I was almost crying, and was shaking dramatically).

So, I've been thinking a lot about it, and just sort of scanning over my life. I realized that I can't remember the last time I had a reaction to a girl, BUT I know for a fact I react to other guys. I know at one point I was attracted to a girl, but that was almost 10 years ago. I haven't felt a strong attraction like that toward any other girl in almost 10 years.

So I dunno, part of me is wondering, is there such a thing as "Gay with Conditions?" I know what kind of girl I'm attracted to, but it's such a small rare sliver, that is might as well not exist. Meanwhile, I find my attraction to guys to be far broader.

Regardless, I've squared away with all possible outcomes, so if in fact I'm not Bi, but instead actually Gay, that really is okay. I've spent enough time fussing and being nervous. I'd much rather be comfortable, and happy. I've even considered that it would be easier on everyone, as in my experience, people react somewhat better to someone being Gay, as opposed to Bi. I don't know why, maybe it's just more clean cut, simple.

Onto the questions!

1) What is your opinion on the "Bisexual Layover" theory?

2) What is your opinion on this "Gay with Conditions" theory?

3) In your experience, do people just seem to react better to a simple Gay/Lesbian label, rather then a more complicated Bisexual label?

Now, one request: I really wants lots of replies, lots of answers. If you've read the post this far, PLEASE REPLY.

Also, please, state your answers based on personal experience. I've have quite enough of the Kinsey Scale and all the pep talks of "Sexuality is fluid, there is no one side or other." Please, I want answers based on personal experiences with other people, much like how Isaac answered me honestly based on his experiences, not on Kinsey and self help books.

thank you.

Posts: 51 | From: CA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Can I ask what websites you're looking at, exactly?

(This coming from someone who, at nearly 37, has been bisexual since she was at least 11, out since she was 15, done work in GLBT for an age, mingled with all sorts of queer community in several different cities firsthand; who has a definate romantic/emotional preference for women, but has always been pretty right-down-the-middle per the physical, but then, I don't have a physical "type" period -- and I ID as a dyke, but that is a bigger ID for me than meaning I'm attracted to women -- but who remains, bisexual after at least 26 years.)

I also ask because that "layover" theory tends to come more from popular/anecdotal ideas than it does from actual sexology, which has very well supported the fact that rather than bisexuality being a "layover", it's most common for al people, with very few people being 100% hetero or homo. (Sexology, unlike popular opinion, also tends to do a great deal of acknowledging the pressures culture puts on people to both be monogamous, seek out "that one" -- which is yet another pressure to be hetero or homo, for obvious reasons -- as well as how little room we have in culture for something as murky as bisexuality. You can be sick of Kinsey, but studies like Kinseys weren't pulled out of his butt: they're based on very broad studies of very diverse people, which is why they're often more valuable than anecdotes, which also tend to be a lot less objective. If, on the other hand, you want to do some more reading that is more about first-person narrative on bisexuality, "Bi Any Other Name" is one I'd suggest you pick up. Anecdotally, Kinsey himself was a lifelong bisexual.)

Of course, no matter what the deal is for anyone else, you get to be what feels truest to you. And of course, some homosexual people -- plenty really -- have opposite-sex partners for a while before they move to only same sex partners (which doesn't mean, FYI, they were bisexual necessarily). Some homosexual people feel more comfortable IDing as bisexual, first or period. Some bisexual people, over time, discover that they ARE ultimately homosexual or heterosexual, and that, for them, bisexuality was phasal, just like some bisexual people discover that, for them, heterosexuality or homosexuality was phasal.

quote:
In fact, humorously, he said he only knew one truly Bi person, and she wasn't exactly the most stable person he knew
FYI? I don't find this humourous. I find it biased, insular and really crappy (not to mention grossly inaccurate). There's nothing to show I know that -- nor does my personal and professional experiences with as vast an array of orientations as there is reflect -- even with cultural biases intact, bisexual people are any less mentally or emotionally stable that heterosexual or homosexual people, and in an inclusive space like Scarleteen, I'd really prefer -- even though I understand these aren't your words -- users kept a handle on tossing stuff like this around, okay?

[ 02-26-2007, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tenshi_XI
Activist
Member # 32522

Icon 9 posted      Profile for Tenshi_XI     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It was not my intention to offend anybody, in fact, that's the last thing I'd want to do. I'm here looking for help/advice, not drive people away.

In hindsight, I probably should've nixed the comment altogether, though I know isaac's personal intentions weren't meant as a broad generalization, nor offensive. He was merely trying to cheer me up, as he knows I have a slightly broken, self effacing sense of humor. It was neither my intention, nor his, to put down anyone as a group, category, or otherwise. I hereby apologize.

Regardless, thank you for your input, as it is important. In terms of Kinsey, I do agree that his studies were revolutionary, and that he has helped lay the groundwork for studies for years, and years to come. I'm just tired of him. *laughs*

You're second to last paragraph was extremely useful ,and I thank you for that. I know for me, identifying as Bi is simply easier for me. I very well could be wrong, I may in fact be gay, and that gear of realization hasn't clicked in my head. As I've been told a million times, "This is something you must answer, no one else can." Of course, they're not wrong.

I guess part of me wants to beat my mind to the answer.

As always though, Isaac knows what to say to perk me up. This time it was: "I really am glad you're on my team." To which I responded "I'm glad you're on my team too." We both shared a laugh.

Keep the replies coming! Thank you so much!

And once more, I apologize for any offense I may have caused.

Posts: 51 | From: CA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
curiosity13
Neophyte
Member # 32841

Icon 1 posted      Profile for curiosity13     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ok. sooo here goes!

1) What is your opinion on the "Bisexual Layover" theory?
In my limited personal experience, I have seen people transition all over the place with sexual orientation. I have friends who have gone from straight to gay to bi to gay to bi! I think its all about how you identify at a certain time. So, of course, identifying as bi is a transitional state for some, and a permanent state for others. I personally have identified as bi for a year now. it took me a while to get to that point, but I feel like it is a suitable label for me.

Basically, I think it is a HUGE generalization to say that bisexuality is a transitional state. Sexuality is something very personal, and it is ridiculous for someone to tell how they are/will feel.

2) What is your opinion on this "Gay with Conditions" theory?

I think this theory is really just a different way of describing being attracted to both genders. Many people are more attracted to one sex than the other, but are still attracted to both. So I guess saying that you are "gay with conditions" is like saying "I'm bisexual, but am more attracted to same-sex individuals."

3) In your experience, do people just seem to react better to a simple Gay/Lesbian label, rather then a more complicated Bisexual label?

What seems to me to be the biggest deal here is that Gay/Lesbian culture is often very different from Straight culture. I feel like Bisexual people often feel pressure to "commit" to one or the other. I know that when I came out to a girl I liked as bisexual, she told me that she'd never date a bi girl, since bi girls always leave their girlfriends for guys. I was really offended by this. I mean, a gay girl could just as easily leave her girlfriend for another girl!

Also, another big issue is the perception of bisexuality in women vs. the perception of bisexuality in men in society. I feel like bi women are often seen as sexy, or even just slutty. So that might make it easier for a girl to come out as bi to her boyfriend then a boy to come out as bi to his girlfriend. But by the same token, bi girls might find it more difficult to be taken seriously in society.

[ 02-26-2007, 08:58 PM: Message edited by: curiosity13 ]

Posts: 21 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tenshi_XI
Activist
Member # 32522

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tenshi_XI     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes, one thing I have noticed is a disproportionately larger amount of Bi women, then men. I've learned from observation, much like you stated, that Bi women are either viewed as either MORE sexy, or even slutty, where as Bi men are simply viewed as either creepy, or confused.

I had a co-worker who was Bi, and the poor man was avoided like the plague. It wasn't right, or fair, but it happened. In contrast, there was a Bi female worker, and she was practically viewed as a superstar. It's both strange, confusing, and unfair. The world views the same thing very differently, mattering on who is being viewed.

I remember a comedian talking about the fact that, when the word "gay" is mentioned, all people think about is 2 guys, and that the only way things would improve would be to change perceptions. His theory was to make people think of 2 women instead, cuz "people love lesbians." It was funny.

And I'm off topic!

My biggest bigest fears right now are: the notion from others that I'm just confused, and the idea that I'm just trying to be trendy. Now, they probably aren't wrong, I AM confused, just not how they think. At the moment, I'm just trying to figure out if I like women at all *laughs* Heaven forbid I get labeled as trendy......That'd be a fate worse then rejections *laughs again*

Posts: 51 | From: CA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
His theory was to make people think of 2 women instead, cuz "people love lesbians."
Well, only when they're the "right" kind of lesbains who support this view of what lesbianism is:
quote:
Bi women are either viewed as either MORE sexy, or even slutty
In other words, when bisexual women or lesbians are exclusive, not focused on or influenced by men, not hypersexual or into performing their sexuality for other people's entertainment, that theory flies RIGHT out the window.

And with men, you have to bear in mind what a terrible, terrible threat bisexual or gay (or trans) men are to status quo ideas of masculinity and male sexuality-as-power-over. Bi or gay women, no matter how we behave or present, are less of a threat because we're an oppressed class with less power.

(Let's also remember, in this conversations, the the idea of "both" genders or gender -- or sex -- as binary is already very, very deeply flawed and inaccurate.)

And apology accepted Tenshi: thanks for that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Happy Hermit
Activist
Member # 31886

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Happy Hermit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I sympathise with your dilema Tenshi_XI. I was very comfused and i came out as bi to some friends (same response). I've done some soul searching lately (and asked the same basic question on this forum) and i think that in my case; i am gay. Girls are o.k. to my, meaning: i can see and recognise women as beautiful. But, i am totally turned on beyond the point of return by a hot guy. the pulse quickens, nostrils flair and insta-boner appears (ok, that may have been a bit of an exaggeration). I REALLY love men and can see myself loving them for the rest of my life. My opinion on women is more like: I could do it... but would i find it nearly as sexy?

i ended up conforming to the stereotype if the Bisexual Layover. but im not you, so you might be homosexual with an open mind to accept women as a possibiliyy, or bi, or vice-versa. when I came out as gay, the responce was basically: 'About time! I won the bet that it would take you at least a year!' (just a little more politely though)

i think that time's really the only answer. its not who your atracted to: its who you love and who you want to be with. who says a straight guy cant fall in love with another man even though the basic attraction is significantly less? why can't a gay guy love a women even if he getts hotter over men? that's just my rambling anyway. hope its usefull!

Posts: 67 | From: CANADA AGAIN!!!! | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
missmuffin
Neophyte
Member # 33595

Icon 1 posted      Profile for missmuffin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1) What is your opinion on the "Bisexual Layover" theory?
In all honesty, i think it's a possibility for some, but not for me. I am bi, but i am fairly sure i will be forever. when i came out to my close friends (alas, no courage to tell the world yet) they first asked if i was sure, and then said, "youre so indecisicive, this suits you so well!" to which i took mild offense. but now i'm daing a guy (i love him for his mind) and obsessing slightly over my female best friend, who i find physically attractive to the extreme.
in short, i am content to be called 'bi' because it fits the way i am attracted to people. i tend to physically go for any gender, and i could find beauty in the soul of whoever i was with, so a more accurate label isn't necessary.

2) What is your opinion on this "Gay with Conditions" theory?
see above: i'm sure it would be the right description for some people other than myself.

3) In your experience, do people just seem to react better to a simple Gay/Lesbian label, rather then a more complicated Bisexual label?
yes. you wouldn't believe how often i hear people talking about 'nympho opportunist bi girls' and the like. i take it upon myself to educate them.

anyway, hope my rambling was of some use.

--------------------
This is just me. I'm pretty opinionated, but i try to be nice...
oh yes, and i'm madly in love. Yay!

Posts: 1 | From: central US | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
not_a_hobgoblin
Activist
Member # 29206

Icon 1 posted      Profile for not_a_hobgoblin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1) What is your opinion on the "Bisexual Layover" theory?

I think it happens, but it's by no means the standard.

2) What is your opinion on this "Gay with Conditions" theory?

This is where the anecdotal evidence comes in; this is pretty much how I would currently define myself (by your description), except I still identify as bi. I am mostly attracted to girls, but there are a few, particular guys that hold interest for me.

3) In your experience, do people just seem to react better to a simple Gay/Lesbian label, rather then a more complicated Bisexual label?

People do, sometimes, and they don't, sometimes. I've gotten both the "You're just a confused bisexual" response and the "Well at least you're not lesbian" response. This is really hard to make a call on, but the one thing I have realized is that most kids our age (and the few adults I've talked to, also) have no idea who Kinsey is or about the continum of sexuality, so the "confused bisexual" response is common.

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SpiralBound
Neophyte
Member # 33566

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SpiralBound     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ok, maybe I'm coming late to this discussion, but I have strong feelings, so here's a comment:

The "Bisexual Layover Theory." -- I have major beef with this idea, not because plenty of people don't identify successively as straight, then bisexual, then homosexual, but because the idea that this is a common pattern is usually used to tell people that they're wrong about their own self-identification. As in "You're not really bisexual, you're just too scared to come out as lesbian." Even if this is true for a lot of people, it is a gross thing to say to someone.

Posts: 5 | From: Portland, OR | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
innocent_eyes
Neophyte
Member # 30978

Icon 1 posted      Profile for innocent_eyes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
i told everyone i was bisexual first. (even though im fully gay lol) it just seemed easier to tell them that. i have no idea why, i guess so they still had in their mind i'd end up with a guy. and wouldnt be as dissapointed
haha. but now ive told them im gay

--------------------
xoxox All you need is Love xoxox

Posts: 30 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AnansiGirl
Neophyte
Member # 34159

Icon 8 posted      Profile for AnansiGirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*insert eye-roll HERE* People, I am bi. I know I'm bi. I love my boyfriend and want to be with him as a chick not a guy, and equally I loved my girlfriend - we broke up only becuase we'd gone as far as we could and just simply felt the relationship had run it's course - and think that if that makes me a supressed lesbian, the people who think that are obviously straight grade-A assholes who have never been kissed except by their mums.

I don't think all people are bi. I do know a couple of people who are bi out of lack of choice, but I'm not one of them. You are what you are. Anyone trying to tell you that what you are is wrong or you're just kidding yourself can go find themselves a partner. Most people get like that when they're lonely and jealous, in my experience.

Sorry for the rant. Pretentious stuff like this just gets under my skin. I'll just be going now~

- AG

--------------------
"I'm bouncing off the walls again, woah-oh~
I'm acting like a fool again, woah-oh~
Threw away my reputation,
For one more song on the RADIO STATION~"

Posts: 29 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Leabug
Activist
Member # 27966

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Leabug     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
(AnansiGirl- while you're totally welcome to your opinion, we ask that you express it more politely. It's not okay to belittle other people here. Calling users "pretentious" is not acceptable.)

--------------------
Lea

Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Frogmite
Neophyte
Member # 30165

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Frogmite     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1) What is your opinion on the "Bisexual Layover" theory?

I think it happens to some people, sure. I know people who honestly were attracted to the opposite sex, then to both sexes, and then only to their own sex. But, in truth, when I saw the term "Bisexual Layover", I was enraged. And I'll get into that further on quesiton three.

2) What is your opinion on this "Gay with Conditions" theory?

It sounds pretty much like being Bisexual, doesn't it?

3) In your experience, do people just seem to react better to a simple Gay/Lesbian label, rather then a more complicated Bisexual label?

I've had classrooms full of people (Teachers included) discuss how people who are Bisexual are really just confused/afraid. I've heard people talk about how they hated Bisexuals more than Homosexuals because Bisexuals had a choice as to whether or not they would go to Hell (AKA. choose a lover of the same anatomy).

I don't think that it's less acceptable because it's complicated, I think that it's less acceptable because no one wants to admit that there's a third take on sexuality. I don't know. The general population confuses me.

--------------------
If I ever asked her to Skank, she'd probably think I called her one.

Posts: 34 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rosemat
Activist
Member # 34414

Icon 1 posted      Profile for rosemat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heather, if i may ask, i was very drawn to what you said " many homosexual people realize they were in a phase and realized they were actually bisexual. " Have you met any gay men who realized they were bisexual after some time?

I once heard george michael say " if you are bisexual you are confused. " Hearing that itself I realized how untrue that was. I know my heart, i know my mind, and it says bisexuality is real. I do agree at one time we only wanted women to be women, and men to be men. now that might have changed but we have straight people who should be straight and gay who should be gay. its like stick to your game. its sad we have to think like this.

Are basic 'society need' to be on one side of the fence. even what heather mentioned about being with the " one " ! Polygamy automatically means open relationships. What about relationships with 3 people who are all in love with each other. all 3 powerfully connected. even that concept is missing, and not accepted.

Posts: 105 | From: globe | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Have I met any personally? Yes. But really, anecdotal/personal experiences with things like this can only be given so much weight when we're talking about pretty huge populations, as this thread made pretty obvious from the start.

So, more importantly, when we look at all the sex research we've got so far on orientation, what we know (and there's enough of it now to be able to look and feel pretty confident that any biases at play are pretty evened out), what we know is that the vast majority of people in the world are somewhere between heterosexual and homosexual. Obviously, some are closer to one pole, others closer to the middle: that varies, but what is not variable is that if by "bisexual" we mean "is capable of feeling emotionally and/or sexually attracted to more than one sex or gender," than bisexual is what most people in the world are.

(One other really obvious place to look in terms of male orientation is just how many men live on the down-low, and those aren't just gay men. Plenty of men who sleep with men secretly but are otherwise partnered with women are also attracted to those women they're partnered with. Some are not, buy many are.)

And much like you're talking about with polymory or triad relationships, that most people in the world are technically bisexual is pretty easy to understand when we understand that with a majority of people, the primary criteria relationships usually start with is a simple, "is drawn to that person." Usually, it's from there that things follow -- gender and sex, relationship models, etc. -- and we are so diverse as a population, that it's pretty obvious why (especially when we remove or go against ingrained and learned biases) our relationships and who we have them with is so often just as diverse.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rosemat
Activist
Member # 34414

Icon 1 posted      Profile for rosemat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
dear heather, thank you for answering that. Oh yes i understand perfectly what you mean. I was just enquiring whether you knew a gay man who later turned out to be bisexual. Even if its one case. Most of my gay friends are very stuck with that homosexual " non bisexual " stigma. So to see gay people have the courage to leave that label and move on to who they really are which was bisexual, is pretty amazing.
Posts: 105 | From: globe | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AnansiGirl
Neophyte
Member # 34159

Icon 1 posted      Profile for AnansiGirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Leabug:
(AnansiGirl- while you're totally welcome to your opinion, we ask that you express it more politely. It's not okay to belittle other people here. Calling users "pretentious" is not acceptable.)

*winces* Insert general apology here. Dunno what got into me.

Really sorry, people.

--------------------
"I'm bouncing off the walls again, woah-oh~
I'm acting like a fool again, woah-oh~
Threw away my reputation,
For one more song on the RADIO STATION~"

Posts: 29 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
plain milyeh
Activist
Member # 32511

Icon 1 posted      Profile for plain milyeh     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1) What is your opinion on the "Bisexual Layover" theory?

ugh. i know some people do use "bisexual" as a kind of bridge label when they first start coming out, and i respect the fact that for some people, it makes the whole outing process a lot easier. so i've got nothing against those people...i am, however, really pissed off at everybody who assumes that that's universally the case. because seriously, i know a lot more bisexual people who are very much exactly what they've always said they are than i know people who were "bisexual" on their way out of the closet but are definitely gay now.

2) What is your opinion on this "Gay with Conditions" theory?

makes sense. i'm a firm believer in the whole kinsey scale thing. most people are something with conditions...

3) In your experience, do people just seem to react better to a simple Gay/Lesbian label, rather then a more complicated Bisexual label?

some people definitely get annoyed at me for not having a sexual identity they can understand automatically (since i identify as "queer", not even "bisexual"). on a recent adventure, pretty much *while we were making out*, the boy i was with kept saying, "but i thought you were a lesbian"...to which i kept replying, "well, you mis-assumed. i'm queer, but i'm obviously not a lesbian, if you'll note our current configuration"...to which he says, "ooooh, i get it, you're bisexual"...me: "umm, not really. queer. but whatever."...him: "oh, so you just like everyone?"...me: "not really...but i like you, and isn't that the main point of interest here?"

seriously, i don't think it gets much simpler than my identity. basically, i like what i like and i don't freak out too much about gender. [i save my neuroses for what counts;)] apparently, this is SUPER-COMPLICATED for a lot of people, though. which i think is pretty weird.

Posts: 108 | From: caaaaanada. ('cause we've got rocks and trees and trees and rocks...) | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3