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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » She won't acknowledge

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Author Topic: She won't acknowledge
Member # 31321

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Hey. I am a senior in high school and I'm 17 years old. In the summer of 2005, my mother read my journal and found out I was gay. She confronted me about it and I told her I was. Well, she cried really bad and told me not to make that decision right now and to give it awhile. Well, nothing has changed and a couple of months ago on my birthday, my girlfriend sent me flowers to my house. Well, my mom flipped out and wanted to know who was sending me these flowers. So, I told her my girlfriend Auburn sent them to me. Well she proceeded to ask me how old she was (she is 19, by the way), where she lived, what she did, and she was PISSED that I didn't tell her about her. I know you're wondering where I'm going with this, so here it goes. Ever since I told my mom about Auburn, she has been trying to get me to talk to guys and she acts like I've never brought up being gay. She totally denies it and I don't know how to talk to her about it. We have such a close relationship, and I want her to accept me. I don't want to fight with her about this, I just want her to accept it. She is totally for gay marriage and gay people having rights like everyone else, she just doesn't want her daughter to be... I really need help. All advice would be appreciated!! Thanks!!

"The world is dishonest, so if you deny yourself, you have no one b/c you are the only one you can trust" - Myself

Posts: 1 | From: Alabama | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30201

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This is always a tough one, I'm afraid. I would suggest trying to find someone in the family who she respects who would also be sympathetic to you, to moderate some discussions, or else to see if she'd go with you to a family counselor. Anyway, my suggestion is moderated discussions. It's very hard to change someone else's negative attitudes though, especially when there are some contradictions in their beliefs that they may not acknowledge themselves... Also (and maybe this would be a bad idea) but maybe if she got to meet your girlfriend and saw you interacting with her, that would make it harder for her to doubt your orientation. On the other hand, if that might be a painful interaction for your girlfriend, best not to go there -best to feel out your mother's attitude to something like that first...

[ 11-01-2006, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: iheartdc ]

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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