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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I think my mom seriously hates me

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Author Topic: I think my mom seriously hates me
memsy17
Neophyte
Member # 30782

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My mom knows I'm a lesbian... she's known for a while... but she has never approved. So I have resorted to lying about boys, saying that hey, he's cute or whatever... but i never liked them... I think she's waiting for me to 'grow out of it' or something... i don't know what to do because I am tired of arguing with her about it...

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Run to the water and find me there,burnt to the core but not broken... stop tryin' to find the anwser when there ain't no question

Posts: 2 | From: Texas | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Have you, or anyone in your family, ever addressed issues about homosexuality besides applying them to YOU?

In other words, in a more general way? Might your mother consider reading something on the topic, checking out a PFLAG meeting, etc?

Is there anyone else in your family who might be more supportive?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
InKeepingSecrets
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Member # 30788

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I'm kind of in the same situation. Last year around this time I kind of had a little fling with my best friend. Well my mother found out. She totally FREAKED. I told her that I was just confused and that I was straight. I had a boyfriend at the time so that wasn't too hard to convince her. She still brings it up from time to time but I always lie to her. I'm bisexual. I like girls. I like guys. But if I tell her that, she'll disown me. I'm 18 years old and she could easily kick me out of the house and I know that she would if I told her I was bi.

What should i do?

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Peace, Love, Empathy

Posts: 17 | From: Pa | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
memsy17
Neophyte
Member # 30782

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Well, my male cousin is gay and she seems to be totally fine with it, but i think he came out before I was born because he's 40 this year and i'm in my late teens. I don't know I guess if it's not her daughters she doens't care... but my other sister isn't gay so i dunno.

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Run to the water and find me there,burnt to the core but not broken... stop tryin' to find the anwser when there ain't no question

Posts: 2 | From: Texas | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Can you talk to your cousin, then, or get his help in talking to your Mom?

Generally, gay family members are ALWAYS going to be willing to help another in this situation: they know what it can be like.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Joga Bonito
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Member # 30790

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I know how you feel, except my parents don't know about my sexuality yet. I don't think they ever will because they are both very religious Catholics and don't approve of homsexuality. My dad actually once said that if any of his children "decided" to be gay, that he would kick them out of the house and never speak to them again.

I think that alone is what scared me into hiding; knowing that they will never accept you as you are. But I figured that I would just wait to tell them after I am no longer financial dependent on them. It may take awhile, but I'd rather be safe and realatively happy, than alone and scared.

[ 09-20-2006, 06:00 AM: Message edited by: confuzzledCHIC ]

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sometimes, all you can do is laugh

Posts: 20 | From: Texas | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ashey
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Member # 31578

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Im new here but it's kind of the same thing i think my mom's ashamed of me sometimes.When she found out i was Bi she didn't come talk to me ( i accidentally left a note out and she found it) she wrote me an email and just said i was going through a phase and i would get over it.And now she's treating my sister better than me what should i do? and im sorry if the post doesn't come out right im trying to figure out message boards

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What you see is what you get!! Nothin more

Posts: 12 | From: Seattle | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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How about bringing it to the table to discuss again, Ashey?

Since the note, how have you felt about all of this? Have the two of you discussed this at all?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ashey
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Member # 31578

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No but lately it does seem that she treats my sister better and i have a feeling this is why no we haven't talked about it she has a habit of not listening to me when i talk to her so i just give up

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What you see is what you get!! Nothin more

Posts: 12 | From: Seattle | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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