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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Need Some Help.

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Author Topic: Need Some Help.
Member # 28495

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Let me start off by saying hello. Now onto the questions.

I've been going through a phase recently and I'm starting to seriously consider myself bisexual. I find women to be attractive but at the same time I'd like to also have a serious relationship with another guy my age. I also don't fit the stereotype of a gay or bi guy. I find body hair to be gross however I have considered anal sex if I was dating a guy I knew really well. I recently turned 18 and I have never dated anyone, I've never even kissed another girl or guy before. I'm also starting to feel more comfortable about being considered bisexual, however sometimes I still doubt whether I'm actually bi or not. Could I get some advice from anyone who has gone through the this?

Posts: 1 | From: Florida | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27369

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Welcome to Scarleteen!!

You don't have to assign yourself a label if you don't feel comfortable with it, and experiementation and exploration is totally normal at any age.

Plus, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 18, haven't kissed or dated anyone, and still was able to determine that I was attracted to women far more than I was attracted to men (if at all).

Anal sex and body type/hair preferences are found all across the orientation spectrum, and they don't really determine your orientation. Anal sex can be enjoyed by straight couples (both men and women on the receiving end), gay men, lesbians, and even just by yourself!

Oh, and sexual preferences can change over time. For a while, you might enjoy one type of activity, but after a few months decide that you like another type better. It's totally cool.

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26329

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hi algamy!
i sort of just finished going through what you are going through (the whole change of sexual identity thing)

i just recently realized that i am attracted to girls as well as guys. i became really preoccupied at first with finding a label that would fit me. am i lesbian? am i bisexual? i just couldn't see where i would fit.

what i realized is that these labels are really just labels, intended to be used for a person to describe him/herself. you don't have to try and fit yourself into a label, cuz that's just not fair to yourself!

i did a lot of research on the internet about this topic, on scarleteen and elsewhere and i realized that to me, sexuality is a spectrum. at one moment you can be more on the straight side of the spectrum, and then you can be more on the gay side of the spectrum. for me, this really works, i now have times when i feel much more attracted to women, and times when i feel much more attracted to men..

in essence, i just think that you should concentrate on getting to know yourself, rather then trying to fit yourself into a label..

i hope that this helps you and good luck!

Posts: 23 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 28882

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i'm glad someone else in the world has never kissed anyone before...phew i thought i was alone.

*I died in my dreams reaching out for your hand my fatal desire*

My orientation is just another part of me, let me live, let me be, i am the same person you knew only happier.

Posts: 37 | From: scotland | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Wonderer
Member # 29145

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Hey, Algamy.

I feel you man, I'm going through this right now. It's kinda cool...

I don't fit into the steorotype of gay or bi, I don't find body hair attractive (except the guy I like now has blond, so it's really neat), I haven't dated or kissed anyone up until this point, but I'm not as old as you. I would consider sex with a guy if I knew him well enough.

I would date both guys or girls, but I can REALLY only picture myself having serious relationships with guys.

Well, I don't know if I have any advice, except just breathe. Take it one step at a time, you aren't on a deadline to complete your self-discovery, make sense? Um, that's all I can really say.

Sorry = /

Posts: 30 | From: Florida, US | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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