I'd also suggest you not rush to come out. If you're not in or actively pursuing relationships, it's fairly academic anyway, so far as your parents are going to be concerned. A couple months is really a very short time (which isn't to say it's any more or less a "phase" than any orientation for anyone -- sexuality does tend to be fluid and any of us may always find ourselves surprised at some time, or some aspects of our feelings o ID shifting in some way, so arguing too strongly ANY orienation -- even heterosexuality -- is writ in stone generally isn't the best approach). Someone coming to the conclusiont they're queer and coming out within a couple months is actually pretty unusual.

Live with your ID yourself for a while. Seek out some platonic queer community and support. Figure out once you're dating what level of "out" you're most comfortable with. And when a time comes that coming out to your folks feels a little less panicky and a little more natural -- even if it's still a bit nerve-wracking -- it'll be easier to figure out how to approach it.

1. Think about the last time you looked at a woman, were you saying, I wish i had legs that great, or wow she has a great butt.
2. Do you ever stare at woman's butt or breasts for a long time, like 3 straight minutes?
3. How much do you not like guys? I absolutely hate guys, they are perverted, gross, rude, whatever happened to gentlemn from the 20's?
4. Look at yourself in the mirror, say out loud a couple of times, "I am a lesbian (or I am bi)". Does this feel right to say about yourself?
5. Have you ever had feelings for a girl? maybe just littles ones for your best friend?
6. Do any of your daydreams/fantasies include another girl?
7. Have you ever wanted to kiss a girl?

Answer according to how you really feel, don't say no no no I am not a les, or yes yes yes I am. Say for reall. If you find yourself saying yes because you have thought about it or wanted to do it, you may be lesbian, if you keep finding yourself lying saying no, you might be straight. But answer honestly.

1. Legs, probably straight - Butt maybe les
2. Yes, maybe - no probably no
3. Hate them-les / love them-straight / they're okay- could be either
4. Feels right? Les / No way... Str.
5. Feelings- yes? Les no. Str
6. Yes les No Str
7. Yes les No str

here are some other links that might help, they helped me(just copy and paste into your internet bar thingy):
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=
15876667185581239089
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=
10884594428822340182
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingout/a/
AmIaLesbian.htm
http://www.google.com/custom?q=lesbian&sites
earch=okcupid.com%2Ftests%2Ftake&sa=Find+rel
evant+tests&cof=AH%3Acenter%3BLH%3A56%3BL%3A
http%3A%2F%2Fis3.okcupid.com%2Fgraphics%2Fok
logo4.gif%3BLW%3A269%3BAWFID%3A2c1b5003d7fa8
83b%3B
http://quizfarm.com/quizlist.php and search the word "lesbian"

Now I have to be a buzzkill.

A lot of your self-quiz questions aren't things I'd advise others to evaluate per orientation, and I'll explain why.

quote:

---

1. Think about the last time you looked at a woman, were you saying, I wish i had legs that great, or wow she has a great butt.
2. Do you ever stare at woman's butt or breasts for a long time, like 3 straight minutes?

---

Not only do women evaluate one another all the time physicaly and sexually, especially given the culture we live in, sexual orienatation is a COMBINATION of physical and emotional attraction, and that varies a lot per degrees for a lot of people. There are, for instance, a lot of lesbian women who not only do not stare at women's bodies or the parts of women male culture sexuallizes (like breasts and bottoms) for various reasons, but plenty who ID as lesbian who don't feel overt physical obsession for any gender at all.

As well, plenty of women do BOTH of the above in your first question, and again, a lot of that is simple cultural conditioning, and in fact, something that can often be a big point of confusion for women trying t figure if they're attracted to other women romantically and/or sexually.

quote:

---

3. How much do you not like guys? I absolutely hate guys, they are perverted, gross, rude, whatever happened to gentlemn from the 20's?

---

Lesbianism isn't about disliking men, just like heterosexualism isn't about disliking people of the same gender. Lesbianism is about LIKING and LOVING WOMEN. Lots of lesbians have strong emotional relationships of various types with men and don't dislike them (or stereotype them) as a group.

quote:

---

4. Look at yourself in the mirror, say out loud a couple of times, "I am a lesbian (or I am bi)". Does this feel right to say about yourself?

---

It doesn't feel right for a lot of people who ARE queer because, again, of the culture we live in. In fact, it's safe to say that for MOS T people in the world, few of whom are strictly heterosexual, "I am straight or heterosexual" is going to feel more comfortable than anything else, even if they're lesbian or gay.

quote:

---

5. Have you ever had feelings for a girl? maybe just littles ones for your best friend?
6. Do any of your daydreams/fantasies include another girl?
7. Have you ever wanted to kiss a girl?

---

All of those above three points are normative for people of ANY orientation. And kissing is so pleasant and often nonsexual that for a lot of people, even stright people, kissing someone of the same sex or gender can feel swell, even though thay are not bisexual or homosexual. Broad sex research shows that a lot.

Same goes for most of the other types of "quizzes" you posted here, which aren't really based in much actual sexological data, knowledge or sound research.

Let's also remember that again, per most sound sex reserach that not only does sexual orientation operate on a continuum, the vast MINORITY of people are strictly heterosexual or homosexual: most people are somewhere in between or bisexual to various degrees, so viewing or evaluating orientation as straight or gay -- or directing others to -- is a big error.

Really, there's no easy way to find out any of this. Ultimately, one just has to try to learn to trust their instincts, question their social conditioning and sexual cultural mores, and pay attention -- usually over a substantial period of time, and hey, even then, we can all be in for some big surprises now and then -- to who they are romantically and sexually attracted and with whom they forge and want to forge relationships. But for most people, patterns of attraction and relationships over time are generally the most reliable indicator, even in a culture like ours which defaults to heterosexuality so often.

(Lastly, it's not okay to diss any gender here at the boards, a la "guys, they are perverted, gross, rude." Please don't do so again.)

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
ST homepage • ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen

So, please do not direct me as to how to do my job or run the site.

We're earnestly always very happy to have users who want to help others, but it is really important per our credibility and doing what we do as best we can here for those users, when misinformation is posted, not to take corrections personally or to lash out, because it isn't personal. Nor do I think you're an idiot: most people who don't work in this field for years aren't as well-versed as those of us who have, or able to separate personal experience from broader views, and that's not because anyone is stupid -- it also makes a pretty big difference with stuff like this with age to a certain degree, because it widens your perspective quite considerably. And I tend not to talk about complex queer or gender politics in the way I did above with someone I think to be unintelligent.

It's about making sure we have the most accurate info out there for everyone possible, because users who read things here DO take posts as the truth.

And hey: when more correct info IS added, everyone gets to learn it so that when they DO want to help others (or ourselves), we can all help to the very best of our ability, eh?

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
ST homepage • ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen

Peaceloveandrock: in case any of the above wasn't clear, there's just no easy way to "tell" save time, and even then, there is at least some choice involved and some fluidity involved, for everyone.

That's the case per reserach, that's the case per pretty much anyone you'll ask who has been dating and thinking about sexual identity themselves -- no matter what theirs is -- for at least ten years or so.

Personal anecdote?

My first consensual sexual experiences were with girls. Then boys. Then just both. The cultural discussion wasn't in place enough when I was in junior high or high school for me to know anything but that I clearly was attracted to all sexes and genders, and that was pretty obvious. Through my life, I've had substantial periods when I only dated men; substantial periods when I only dated women. I've had a long period where I wasn't sexually or romantically attracted to men at all; that's yet to ever have been the case with women, though. I've had far more lovers and partners than many people my age (I'm in my mid-thirities), of all genders, including androgynous and transgendered folks. On the Kinsey Scale (http://www.lgbtcampus.org/resources/training/kinsey_scale.html), I'm a pretty easy 4 when you average it all out and I account for my feelings and history. And lo: when I was exclusively dating women for several years and feeling pretty much zippo attraction to men, I met someone I've connected with better, really, than anyone in a romantic relationship to date in my life, who just happened to be a man. I ID as a bisexual dyke, which makes sense to anyone who has known me for any given period of time. And as tricky as all this ID-ing in our culture is, you will find that most adults in the world who have a long sexual history will all generally come to a similar conclusion: which is that for any of us, we love who we lov, and there's often a good degree of predicting there, but also, at least now and then, some degree of surprise, since connecting with people really is rare AND we all keep growing and changing as we go through life if we're paying attention. That can be hard to juggle sometimes in a world where things can seem so black or white, and we're pushed to "pick a side," but it really is how it usually goes.