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Author Topic: Bisexuality
Sapph
Neophyte
Member # 21106

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First off, just want to say hi to everyone...I'd really like some ideas on how I can tell my mom that i'm bisexual (my b/f knows, and obviously, so does my female lover, they both know eachother and are fine with it, no problems there) Me and my mom are very close and open, but I havent told her about my beong bisexual (she dosent like gays) and im wondering if there is anyway to 'ease into the truth' and make it easier for her to accept waht i am? Any suggestions/input is greatly appreciated!
Posts: 7 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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Two things:

First, it sounds like you really do want to let your mom know. You don't say why, though. Is it because you want to share this part of your life with your mom? You say that you're "very close and open," so that's what it's sounding like to me--it's hard to keep such a big part of your life from someone you care about.

However, you say that "she doesn't like gays," and you have a feeling she may react negatively to your telling her about your bisexuality. Only you can know if it's right to tell her, but whenever we want to reveal something about ourselves to someone, it's good to examine the reasons: are we telling them for them, or for us?

If it's not urgent that you tell her now, right out, then you may want to show her--calling your female lover "sweetie" on the phone in front of her, or holding her hand, or other little things that we do can let her know that this friend is "more than a friend." Or you may decide not to tell her at all, or you may simply sit down with her and say, "Mom, there's part of my life I haven't shared with you: I'm bisexual." But dropping a few hints--verbal or non-verbal--beforehand could make that conversation a bit easier.

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Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"And when the answer that you want/Is in the question that you state/Come what may..." - Coheed and Cambria, "Blood Red Summer"


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Demure
Neophyte
Member # 21625

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Hi Sapph, gosh! I know its an old topic, I just like to know if ur boyfriend find out that ur bi or did u tell him that u are?
How was his reaction and do u have threesomeís?
Does he get jealous when u spend time with ur girl or does she get jealous when u spend time with him or do u spend time with both at the same time (like just chill)
I want to know coz im in a similar situation. My guy almost died when I told him that I "used" to have something with one of my girl friendís. Now the 2 of them canít stand each other, but I love them both.

Advice please, I donít want to loose either of them.

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"it`s nice to be important, but it`s more important to be nice"


Posts: 20 | From: South Africa, Pretoria | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sapph
Neophyte
Member # 21106

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First off, a big thank you to lemming! and hey demure! actually, when my boufriend told me that he was bi, is pretty much when i told him that i was, so we were both laughing at how we thought the other was going to react and...it was just funny all around. and, no, we dont do threesome, but thats just a personal choice. yes, we all spend time together which can be a littel uncomfortobale, but we all try to make it work, which is lovely. we've also got some unwritten/unspoken rules which we all follow but none of them are to harsh...its more like, i donr sleep with my bf's guy, he dosent sleep with my gal, and everyone's pretty happy with the way things are set up, although i've been trying to think of a nice way to 'come out' to my mom...i think im so worried b/c my b/f's dad wont even speak to him now that he know's hes bi.
Also, i dont know if this is the best solution to your situation, but if your relationship with your girlfriend is really over(well, romantically over, no sense cutting off your friendship)then just make sure your bf knows that. also, if they really dont like eachother, common sense says they prolly shouldnt spend acers of time together...anyways i hope this works out for you!
~Sapph

Posts: 7 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Demure
Neophyte
Member # 21625

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Hi Sapph, ur relationship sound really cool!
I forgot to mention Im ingadge to be married (maybe in the next year or 2)
And Im still romanticly involved with my girlfriend. Honestly speaking, I love my guy very much, unfortuanately sexually/rommanticly Im more attracted to my girlfriend!! Thats the problem!
For the almost 5years that im dating my guy, we had sex about 15 times (in 5years!) and with my gf`s (been seeing her for almost 4years) gosh! waaaay! more that 15 times.

For the past 3yrs we tried to brake up, but to no avail, she`s my first sexual partner and Im her first. When I told her I got ingadged it really broked her heart, even though we both agreed that we should go on with our lifes(get married hav children), coz both of us dont want to spend our lifes together as a couple. No one really knows about our relationship. They suspect us, but cant say for sure that we "dating". Her sister & brother will kill her if they find out that she`s "dating" a girl. Her mom...I dont even want to think about what she`ll do, most probaply remove her from her wil & tell my dad Im sleeping with her daughter!
My family, (except for the rumors that Im making out with my 'best friend') doesnt really knows the whole truth either.
My dad will faint if he learn that Im sleeping with a girl.

Both of us dont want to dissappoint or families, but we cant life without each other aswell...Somethimes I feel like running away with her.
Sometimes I just wish I could die, that having to feel this way.

Wow! finaly got it of my heart...No one knows about our situation.

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"it`s nice to be important, but it`s more important to be nice"


Posts: 20 | From: South Africa, Pretoria | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Demure
Neophyte
Member # 21625

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OMGosh! The spelling of my previous post...its awful! Hope you can read it :-/

Thanx 4 reading/listening

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"it`s nice to be important, but it`s more important to be nice"


Posts: 20 | From: South Africa, Pretoria | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
besexybesussed
Neophyte
Member # 21885

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oh my god this is the same situation with me about the spilling the beans bit! Apart from I haven't any partners.

I was bisexual during the final few months of dating boyfriend. Now i too dont know how to tell friends and family (well mom). I have told one friend and she is cool with it, but the fantisies of making out with a woman is so much stonger than being with a man!

Good luck in your future


Posts: 5 | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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