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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » i am very confused!!

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Author Topic: i am very confused!!
lifeischange88
Neophyte
Member # 20346

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lately ive been thinking about my sexual preference or whatever you want to call it. i really like guys and all but when i fanticise about sex its always with a girl. thats what gets me turned on. i have had experiances with girls before and i just cant describe the feeling. i just love it. is this me just being a curious teen? or possible could i be bisexual? i need help on this cause i just cant stop thinkin about it so if anyone could help id really appreciate it.
Posts: 3 | From: ohio | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sexual orientation is the preferred term. "Sexual preference" is an inaccurate term often used intentionally by those who are anti-gay to infer that those of us who are not heterosexual are very simply choosing to be otherwise, and could just as easily choose to be heterosexual if we wished.

Per your issue, here's the thing: ultimately, orientation tends to show itself pretty clearly over time. Cultural interference and pressures notwithstanding, when you partner with who you want to partner with, your own personal brew of orientation tends to become clear. If you find yourself, over the years, dating or wanting to date both men and women, you're likely bisexual. If you find yourself dating or wanting to date primarily or only women, you're likely lesbian.

But until such time as you ARE actively dating, having sexual partners, it's fairly academic and having a label for orientation tends to be fairly unnecessary, so there's no real need to sweat it, especially when you're young.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lifeischange88
Neophyte
Member # 20346

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so basically what you are saying is that i do not have to neccesarily label myself. i like who i liek and thats just the way it is. thanks for the info!!
Posts: 3 | From: ohio | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
powerfulone1987
Activist
Member # 20226

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Yes, that's exactly what I am saying. Sike I didn't say it, but if I had said it, I would have said the exact same thing, because during the teenage years of your life, you are finding yourself and exploring every aspect of yourself, it's normal, it's life.
Posts: 49 | From: United States of America | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rosie Cotton
Neophyte
Member # 20554

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You need to stop trying to figure out if you are bi or straight and just be a lady. Respect yourself and others and live a life of purity and modesty. It is a lie that we can do what ever feels good and there are no consequences. It is obvious that whenever we do whatever feels good at the moment, we regret it in the morning. We were made for so much more. You deserve love and respect. Respect yourself, be a lady, and hold out for REAL self sacrificing love! The kind that makes us feel safe and secure and that never lets us down. Happiness is not physical pleasure! Happiness is peace of mind and heart. We cannot live immoral lives and expect to be happy!!!! Hold out for the man of your dreams, stop looking at all of this crap we are surrounded with and search your soul! You want to be loved by someone who makes your best interest and your happiness a priority and does not expect you to give them physical pleasure. Momentary pleasure without a vow to love each other for life only causes pain. Everyone knows this, but since they aren't happy, they don't want you to be happy either. Don't let them rob you of peace, happiness, and a love that makes you smile constantly and confidently everyday of your life. God Bless you!

[This message has been edited by Rosie Cotton (edited 10-26-2004).]


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MarvellousPurple
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Member # 8776

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Rosie: first, since I can't help but assume that "Rosie Cotton" and "Rosie" are the same person, there's a rule: one person, one screenname.

Telling a user who's questioning her sexuality to "stop trying to figure yourself out, be a lady and go get a man" is just not okay. Not everyone here is straight, and not everyone holds the same relationship ideals that you do.

Please, please drop the rhetoric.

------------------
I can count to purple backwards!


Posts: 475 | From: Back in Providence, RI | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17924

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Not to mention that plenty of perfectly normal people do sexual things, and involve themselves in sexual activities and have no guilt the next day whatsoever. Be it masturbation, intercourse, mutual stimulation, oral sex, or anal sex, it is all perfectly fine if done in a healthy manner.

Momentary pleasure is the way many people have their first sexual experiences. It's not uncommon to find that many have had more than one sexual partner in their life time, and it is not a sin to have done so. And plenty of people don't have regrets or have pain caused by sexual relations out of wedlock or "a vow to love each other for life". People here don't try to rob others of happiness, and actually we do quite the opposite.


Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lifeischange88
Neophyte
Member # 20346

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IF being a lady is having pride in myself than i am but loving a man doesnt have to be the only way of love. MarvellousPurple is right. i dont have to love a man ive done some soul searching and peronally who i love it who i love and once i realized that i love myself alot more. so no beign a lady is not loving a man being a lady, tp me is just being who i am.

Posts: 3 | From: ohio | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(Y'all make me so proud sometimes, I just have to tell you.)

And Rosie, just a warning: sign up here under another handle yet again and you'll be reported to your ISP for harassment. Everyone here most certainly does deserve respect, which is the primary reason why your posting privledges have been removed twice now.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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