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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » What am I?

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Author Topic: What am I?
Member # 15414

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Boredofthings     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First off, I'm a 15 year olf male. Ok over the last few days I have become seriously cofused with myself. Back when I first started puberty I thought I was gay because I had a few fantasies about men, but then they diwndled in to nothing after a while and I forgot all about it. All my life I've liked girls, and sometimes I become infatuated with them, one for 4 years until I moved away no less! and Ive had crushes on girls and a few girlfriends, I have one now but nothing serious.
One thing I think is weird though, whenever I masturbate I nearly always think about transgendered (MTF) and it really gets me going.
Whats suddenyl made me confused i the other day I saw some guy on TV and I thought 'He's quite attractive' and it's made me wonder if I'm gay. As I said earlier, I rarely masturbate with thoughts of women in my mind - though I have, and probably will again. The thing is also, the idea of men sexually gets me a lot more aroused than women, however I don't really imagine myself doing something seriously with a guy in real life - would be too weird I think. I find one of my not so close friends atrractive I think, I may have a small crush on him but maybe im confusing this with wanting him to like me cos he's pretty popular and a cool guy. Although I don't think about women much when masturbating, in real life all it can take is a hug and I'll be erect. I'm just sooo confused! Do you think im gay/bi/straight? I couldn't really imagine a serious relationship with another guy, and im almost certain that emotionally/romantically I prefer girls.

The basics of what Ive said because Im sure it has gotten mangled and come out very randomly:

- I find the idea of sex with males more arousing than with females when fantasizing
- I am most aroused by MTF
- I have had serious emotional feelings for girls in the past
- I think I have a slight crush on a male friend
- I can't really imagine a serious relationship with another male
- I always admire girls and pass comment on them with friends when we're out, and do not lie when saying things like 'she has a nice butt'
- I don't generally think about women when masturbating, and don't feel a lot of arousal when thinking about them but I think I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to get an erection when thinking about it, which makes me not get one
- I'm very confused

Ive maybe missed some stuff out, anyway try and help any way you can!! Thanks guys and hope to hear from you soon.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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We can't really determine your sexuality for you; there's no set criteria we can look at and say "Oh, you meet nearly every condition on this list, you must be x."

However, let me point you at an article that might help clear things up for you; page five being particularly relevant:
The Bees and...the Bees - A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17489

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I do understand your difficulty and believe me, being 15 and confused about all things sexual is not easy! i'm 18 now and things aren't that clear cut even now. I don't really like to group people into definite 'sexualities' because I think it can cause pressures. I don't think you'll find a man anywhere who'se never had any sexual thoughts about any other males at some point in their life - be it anything from checking out another guy secretly to having fantasies about him. Don't bog yourself down with trying to classify yourself, just let things happen and I think the decision will be made for you ^_^


Posts: 4 | From: Preston, Lancashire, England | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17492

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--Edited for offensiveness. Consider yourself warned.--

[This message has been edited by KittenGoddess (edited 03-30-2004).]

Posts: 7 | From: China QX Moon | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17693

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Ok. I'm sure you have heard people tell you this, but it's the truth. No one can figure out your sexaulity identity. Nine times out of ten I would guess you were straight, but that is my guess, not necessarily the truth. Ok, let's think about the facts here: you could never see yourself in a serious relationship with a man, or having sex with him in real life, you have a girlfriend whom you like, and you are attracted to girls. You seem to be a little attracted to one guy, but that will probably fade away. That's actually normal. When guys are young, they find themselves attracted to other boys, some just later than others I guess. The key thing however out of all the things that I have told you is that you really have deep thoughts about men when you masturbate. That is completely normal- most likely your thinking about anal sex- but that's beside the point. The point is that during the time you are trying to make yourself cum you start thinking about things you never thought you would. Why? At the time you body is at a point where it's longing for that high. Therefore in order to get it you do what is necessary- that's all. So good luck, and much luv 2 ya.
Posts: 31 | From: Silver Spring, MD | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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