Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » They don't understand!!! HELP!!!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: They don't understand!!! HELP!!!
Gothicgurlie
Activist
Member # 16336

Icon 4 posted      Profile for Gothicgurlie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ok,
I came out of the closet to my friends and they all took it well but now one of my friends acts parinoid everytime I am around her and she always clams I am hitting on her. But we had a big argument about it so to stop us from not being friend sI told her that I was straight,but I still have the same feelings for boys and girls. So how can I tell her that this is me and you have to accept that? without making her start rumors about me and my sexuality?

Posts: 77 | From: Roanoke,Virginia, USA | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Honestly, I'm seriously confused.

You told her you were heterosexual after telling her you were bisexual?

Here's the thing: what you're experiencing is pretty common and normal. One can't demand that any person accept, without question or time, every single aspect of a friend or their life. That's all the more so with something that isn't generally all that accepted in our culture, so often just takes people a little time, some question and answer, etc.

So, how about instead you simply tell her whatever the actual truth is, and let her know (if you would) that her friendship is important to you, and you want to work it out so she can come to terms with this?


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
penguinf00d
Neophyte
Member # 16772

Icon 1 posted      Profile for penguinf00d     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wow... It takes guts to come out. It must be awful to have to try and take it back. You must really love your friend.

I think the big thing is for her to understand that just because you like girls doesn't mean you like her... Heterosexuals don't like every person of the opposite sex they meet, gays/lesbians aren't attracted to every person of the same sex. It may be more common for people to think bisexuals are attracted to just about everybody, but it just isn't true.

If your friend won't listen to you trying to explain this to her, maybe one of your more accepting friends can try to help you out here. She may even get over it by herself-- if you're like most people, you probably took some time to accept that you're bi and feel ready to deal with it. And your friend is certainly like a lot of people in having a less than positive reaction to that.

Count yourself lucky that most of your friends are be supportive and focus on making your friend feel comfortable. The first part of doing that, though, is to tell her that you are, in fact, bisexual. She can't exactly get used to the idea if she thinks you're straight! Make sure she knows that you went back on what you said because you care about being her friend and are willing to give her time and space to accept it... But that this is how you are and you can't change it.


Posts: 8 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3