Hey, some people don't think the concept of "virginity" is really relevant to anyone, whatever their orientation .
If you haven't already read it, check out Scarleteen's article on the concept of "virginity": Magical Cups & Bloody Brides.
Musing over this further, I've realized that I want to be in love with the first woman I allow to be inside me. Is there truly an emotional connection to physical intercourse or is that just a romantic fantasy?
The thing is, you get to decide how emotionally significant and intimate different physical acts feel to you. And different people feel very differently about these things.
Physically, there isn't any special "magic" to penetration that makes it automatically produce emotional connection.
But if, to you, it feels more intimate than other sexual acts - maybe because it's allowing someone inside your body, for example - then that's how you feel.
And if you decide that you only want to have penetrative sex with someone you love, then that's your choice. Don't dismiss your feelings by labelling them as "fantasy".
Am I harboring some "phallic" view of virginity after all?
Well, "phallic" means referring to penises or penis-symbols. But penises are not the only things that can be used for penetration. So nope, feeling that penetration is particularly intimate for you doesn't have to be do to with "phallic" anything .