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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Is it bad that I want to go to prom with a guy?

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Author Topic: Is it bad that I want to go to prom with a guy?
PolarBear819
Neophyte
Member # 12473

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Help!!!!! I'm a les, but for some strange reason I want to go with this one guy to prom. It's weird, I know, but I don't have any feelings for him, and I don't want to date him. I just want him to ask me to prom. What's going on? I've never wanted to do this before? Why now? Why the week after I come out to my mom, and she throws a big fit? I just don't get it. Please help me! Thanks!!!

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~PolarBear


Posts: 3 | From: Torrance, Ca, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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Everyone likes to feel wanted and having someone, attracted to them or not, ask you to a big social event can certainly accomplish that.

Even if it's more than that, being attracted to a male shouldn't pose a threat to your attraction to females. Sexuality and attraction are fluid things and subject to change.

As for your mom throwing a fit it might help to give her some resources for other parents of GLBT folk; PFLAG is a good place to start.

[Edited because having the correct url may also help.]

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 04-03-2003).]


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
i'macutie52
Neophyte
Member # 12425

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hey i don't think that it is so strange cuz prom is coming up for me too, so naturally it is easier to go to a public affair with a boy but i am bi. my date and i aren't even really friends or anything. not everyone knows that i am so it is safer for me cuz my family wouldn't be to happy and some friends too. so don't worry just have fun!!!
ashley

Posts: 12 | From: wisconsin | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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For starters, not every prom date has to be romantic. Whetner it is or not is up to you.

Why might you want this? Could be a lot of reasons. Maybe you're feeling scared or fearful after coming out and the pressure's been a bit much (especially if you feel you MUST identity solely as a lesbian -- do know that you can always identify yourself as you wish, and if in your life down the road you change your mind, that's okay, too). Or maybe the pressure of going with annother woman scares you and you don't feel ready to be that out yet. Or heck, maybe you just want to go with this guy, because he's who you want to go with. Ultimately, you're the best person to figure out why this is.

But if it really bothers you to do that, or consider doing that, I'd think about it some more and see what conclusions you come to. Suffice it to say, you can want this to happen, but if he does ask, you can also say no if it isn't really what you want to do actively.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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PolarBear819
Neophyte
Member # 12473

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Thanks everyone for your great advise, but I still am lost and confused. The only real thing that I got accomplished with this delimia is that I got my gay best friend to help me pick out my dress. And he agreed to go get a manicure with me! Thanks again, and I'll see about talking to my mother about PFLAG. But she seems to think that this is just a phase. Anyway KIT!

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~PolarBear


Posts: 3 | From: Torrance, Ca, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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