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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Dazed and...Bi-curious ?

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Author Topic: Dazed and...Bi-curious ?
Member # 10411

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Well, here i am. life used to be so simple, i never thought for a moment that i might not be straight.
Then ~wack~ and i don't know any more.

i don't know what to do...see my problem is that every one at my school (or at least 50 % of the people) believe i'm a lesbian, either because of my rather femminist outlook or because of a friend of mine who looked exactly like me (whom graduated two years ago) was bi, but had a girlfriend at the time and kissed her in the hall.

well due to this i started questioning my sexuality and i found that i am atracted to females, thus i don't know what to do.

i'm afaid to mention any thing to my friends because i've seen the way they treat my (best) friend whom is gay and it's less then honourable.
So, since i happen to be know by more then 50% of my school (come on, i'm on the student council, and the principal knows me by name) i guess i fear that everyone would think of me diffrently after they found out and i don't want that to happen because i'm not any diffrent then i've always been. Help ! i'm so confused.


Posts: 4 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9724

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Dear Siren (cool name)

You sound like a wonderful lady and i wish you the best while you go through this. While reading your post, i had no problem sensing that you are not confused about your feelings. If you feel attracted to women, then you are. This needn't be scarey and remember, when we talk about attraction we're talking about pleasure... Something that feels good, so don't feel like an emotional monster like some women do and ruin things. If there is room for confusion in your desires, it's within trying to get a handle on things like how much? how often? who? why? How? But these aren't really the issues that matter at this point in your life. Start from the beginning: yourself.

I read this neat quote one day when i was 15 that said "Always talk with yourself before talking to your friends." I guess what that means here is to decide how much it matters to you before bothering with what your friends think. Can you accept yourself being attracted to women? will you be dissaponted in yourself? If you answer your own questions and you find that you are OK with yourself, then ask how much you care what your "friends" think. If it really matters to you then challenge them and come up with a plan for telling them, who to tell, how to word yourself, ect.

But, basically ask yourself if you NEED to tell anyone you know personally in the near future. I, personally am not "out" about being bisexual but i don't beat myself up each night because of it. So, while I'm OK with myself, i don't need to tell anyone i dont' want to. If you feel alone in your feelings, try the internet to find other women who feel the waay you do. read articles, look at websites that deal with what your'e feeling (you won't have to look far or hard, they're out there in the thousands) and you might not feel so alone. Also remember, telling someone your feelings who you think probably won't understand won't make you feel a bit better about yourself and won't cure things in the end.

Best of luck,

Posts: 56 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10411

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Thanx Bella ,

your right, i guess i shouldn't worry.

Now i have to decide a few things for myself.

I know that at least three of my close friends should be told but i know have to figure out a way to say it...*Sigh*...Well on the positive side at least i've figured out a small piece of this huge puzzle. thanx so much, You really lifted my spirits today (i was kinda down) well best of luck in the future, till next time then

Posts: 4 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10468

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Hey Siren,

What Belle said is true you have to accept yourself before your friends even matter. I'm BI myself and one of the easiest ways to tell your friends might be like I did. Ask them if they'd have anything against it say like "What would you think if one of your friends said they were bi/lesbian?" If they say they wouldn't care or whatever then say Well guys I'm bi/lesbian. And just take it from there. Good luck!!!


Posts: 3 | From: Denver, Co | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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