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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Coming out to family... with tricky twists.

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Author Topic: Coming out to family... with tricky twists.
megumi chan
Member # 9941

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I'm bi and have definitely been so for about a year, maybe more. I'm 16 and a guy.

Recently I have truly come to grips and have actually enjoyed being bi. (not sex or anything, just thinking about my life and future, and checking out guys )

I have only told my best friend, who is also 16 and a guy, but straight. He was really sweet about the whole thing and he is a great friend.

I don't think I will have such success with my brother, who is 13, or with my mom. My father is Japanese, (I was born in Japan but have lived in the US my whole life) and my parents are separated. He lives in Japan, and I haven't seen him in a few years; and he doesn't speak english terrifically.

I have no idea what Japanese perspective on gay, lesbian and bi people is at all... and I have no real way of finding out, since I don't read Japanese very well.

As you can see, I have quite a problem. Right now, sitting tight and talking to my best friend works fine, I'm not bursting to tell my family. However, it is something I think about alot...

Any thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

Posts: 3 | From: Highland Park, NJ USA | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10052

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Well, the glory of it is that your parents don't have to know

If you're afraid to tell them, afraid of their reaction, then don't tell them, well worth living in the closet and having only your friends knowing, in my little opinion

Say it as a parting shot or something, walking out the door when you leave home or something like that

Posts: 6 | From: Township 32, Maine, USA | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9384

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Your post really brought up some questions for me. How common is homosexuality or bisexuality in Japan? How have much success have your fellow Japanese counterparts had in coming out? I know you can't answer those questions but I hope someone can and offer you some advice. How much have your mother's and brother's attitudes changed since being in the U.S.? How important for you is it to come out to your family?

I know coming out is a hard process and it's hard because you feel uncomfortable and afraid for negative reactions. My advice is to meet with your Gay Lesbian Bisexual Student association and seek input from them on how you should deal with this.

You were advised NOT to tell your family, since you're afraid to. However, my advice is tell them IF that will help your coming out process. Consider NOT telling them if it will hurt your coming out.

Here are some posts that can give you some advice:

Gaydar Advice on Being in Closet
AND please follow this THREAD There's a Difference Between Holding the door open and pushing people through it.

Good luck

[This message has been edited by mnsouthpawjr (edited 10-10-2002).]

Posts: 73 | From: Louisville, KY USA | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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