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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » identity

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Author Topic: identity
Member # 8593

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I was thinking lately, that my identity is all wound up in my sexuality. I can't think about myself without thinking about the fact that I like girls. I'm wondering if anybody has had this experience, and how they distance themselves from their sexuality enough to really look at themselves as a person?
Posts: 8 | From: narberth, PA, USA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 802

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That's an interesting question... my guess is that it's usually young gay and lesbian people who feel that their identity is all wound up in their sexual orientation.

Straight people usually take their straightness for granted, because, unlike homosexuals, they aren't constantly being questioned or challenged.

I don't know how old you are, or if you're out, but my guess is that when you're older and more comfortable with your sexuality, it will become less of an issue.

Posts: 582 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
la jaunty bohemian
Member # 5735

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I completely understand this feeling. Completely. I came out as a lesbian a smidge more than a year ago, and I still very much talk about my sexual orientation as my identity.

Lately I haven't been as pressed to come out to everyone, mostly because I'm working as an RA and I need to be sensitive to people who have different opinions/experiences. As in, I can't alienate people right off the bat by blasting them with my sexuality. Also, it's not always an important thing to share in this line of work.

Another thing that made me rethink how I discuss my identity was that I was talking to a man who was very involved as a Christian. We were having a very cool conversation, but I noticed how often he talked about god, and I was kinda like "give it a rest, dude." Then I realized that I work in the fact that I'm a lesbian into almost every conversation, and it made me look at my approach.

I'm still trying to find that line of when it's important to share and when it's not really necessary/appropriate, as well as how much my sexual orientation differentiates me from other people and whether or not that's really important. I'm still workin' on it.

Posts: 105 | From: Baltimore, MD, USA | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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