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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Popularity

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Author Topic: Popularity
Member # 8457

Icon 11 posted      Profile for SerenD     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am slowly but surely working my way out of the closet (many thenks to all of you because even if you don't know it, you have been very helpful!). But I have run into a problem.

See, my parents (of course!) think that it is currently "the in thing" to announce that you are gay. This could be because a lot of my guy friends are coming out, and a lot of my girl friends are questioning, and a lot of my friends in general have friends who are confused, experimenting, coming to grips, etc... The result is that they doubt anyone who is gay, and I think that if I talk to them about my own sexuality, they will think that it's just a phase, or I'm trying to fit in, or something like that. The worst part is that I'm not even entirely sure myself. Yes, I am a lesbian... now. But that doesn't mean that at some point in my future I won't fall in love with a man. And my parents think that any woman who did love women and now loves men was faking it for popularity purposes before. Which makes me afraid that if I talk to them (which I really need to do because being in the closet is soffocating me) they won't take me seriously and will wave it off as a phase that I'll get over when I go to college and see that my school is not an accurate representation of the dating pool.

So I have a question or two for you.
1. Do you think that it is currently popular to be gay, and that a lot of people are just saying that they are for that reason?
2. Do you think (and this is taking into consideration that you don't know me or my parents) that there is a way to convince them that my feelings are genuine and/or make them take me seriously?

This is really the only thing barring my way at this point, and I hope to have this over and done with by the end of the week. (Oh please, oh please!) So I really appreciate any future comments and/or suggestions you may have on this matter.

(And if I posted this message twice only worded differently, I'm sorry. I was having password problems)



Posts: 9 | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7365

Icon 1 posted      Profile for BlackRoseFaery     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was talking to a friend once about this. Basically, I think that some people might like the attention they get from it. Like those girls that only kiss other girls when a guy is watching. But I think that's only a very small number of people.

Right now, I think the reason that it seems like so many people you know are coming out is because everyone is still going through adolescence and still trying figuring out who they are, and that includes sexuality.

For my friends and I, once a couple of people came out, a few more did and I think it's because we acted as a support group to each other.

As for your parents, you could try talking to them and telling them that it isn't a popularity thing. No one wakes up in the morning and says "Gee, I think I'm going to gay since it's the popular thing to do." In my experience, it's been quite the opposite. And if they still think it's a popularity thing, you could just give them some time and sooner or later, they'll come around.

I hope a helped a little bit. Good luck

Posts: 88 | From: Hixson, TN, US | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7728

Icon 1 posted      Profile for badly_behaved_badger     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it depends a lot on your social status, what is cool and whats not. I am an 'uncool' kid to start with and about a year ago, there were a lot of rumours flying about that I was a lesbian etc (although I'm not). My popularity went from unpopular to outcast in a few weeks. However, some of the popular girls have come out as being bisexual and everyone is cool with that, unfair, huh?

If people are 'coming out' for attention, there is definately something wrong. It's stupid and not to mention unfair on people who are genuinely gay or questioning. Just stick with your beliefs - that's all you can do. With time they will realise that you weren't doing it for popularity, that's the way you are. *Badger*

p.s Where I come from it is 99% of the time it's considered very uncool to be gay or different in a major way.

Posts: 388 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9134

Icon 1 posted      Profile for curious_courier     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it would help if your parents are made aware that people's sexualities are not written in stone. People DO change their preferences as they grow, and not necessarily for popularity's sake. I was straight for a long time. I determined that I was bisexual for a while, and am now leaning more towards being straight again (though I reserve the right to have a man again at any time *grin*). I'm sure there's some literature online to support this fact, I'll see what I can dig up.

Do a little dance.
Make a little love.
Get Tao tonight.

Kei Tsi, oriental philosopher and disco mogul

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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