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Author Topic: HELP! I think I'm...
Costar14
Neophyte
Member # 8920

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Ive recently discovered that I'm bisexual. I have feelings for both guys and girls. Is this wrong? I'm scared to tell my parents for fear of them disowning me. How should I tell them? How can I get help?
Posts: 2 | From: FL, U.S.A. | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kythryne
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

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Nope, not wrong at all. But hon, we have two forums that are much more appropriate than Ask A Sexpert, which is really only for crisis questions, so I'm going to move this one to the Orientation and Identity forum. You'll get more answers there, and you can read through other topics about this same thing.

Also, make sure to check out our Gaydar section -- you'll find lots of good information there.

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Sexpert

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.


Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CupcakePrincess
Neophyte
Member # 9267

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dont worry. you dont have to come out right away i only came out to my boyfriend and Best friend Because I wanted them to Know, I supose eventually Ill Let everyone else Know and Hope that They dont Judge me. Thats How It goes. there is Nothing wrong with it. Its a great thing... you can get Love From MORE people!

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When You think your life Is Horrible, ask Me about Mine... It will change your Mind.

~*~*Jen*~*~


Posts: 27 | From: crystal Lake Il US | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mnsouthpawjr
Activist
Member # 9384

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Thanks for posting your question and I'll tell you there's no perfect answer to any question you have.

You state that you have feelings for both genders and you ask if it's wrong? Do you think it's wrong? Because if you perceive it to be wrong then it's wrong (perception is reality).

The majority of society will say anything but heterosexuality is wrong. I respect that view though I strongly disagree with. Members of the gay and straight communities will say you're one or the other NOT both. I DISAGREE.

Being bi, could put you and your partners at higher risk for AIDS and STI's if you don't always have SAFER sex.

There's simply no right or wrong answer to your question.

You ask how can get help. I'm confused by that question because it could imply that you're asking where you can get counselling. If I misread that I'm sorry!! I'm sure there are GLBT support groups or centers in your community. If there are, contact them. I'm sure health clinics can refer you to people that can work with you during this time of identifying your sexuality.

Coming out is a unique and complicated process and it varies on an individual basis. It takes time. I think you should be selective on who you tell.

Your fears of being disowned are NOT uncommon. However, it may NOT be case. Unless your parents are openly anti-gay or anti-bi, their reaction may NOT be that bad. I thought I would be disowned by my family. However, they supposedly knew about it beforehand and were accepting.


Hopefully, I didn't ramble on too much.
Before you come out to anyone, I again suggest that you get to know others in your situation and learn how to cope with what may happen

Good luck



Posts: 73 | From: Louisville, KY USA | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aussie guy
Neophyte
Member # 9418

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quote:
Originally posted by Costar14:
Ive recently discovered that I'm bisexual. I have feelings for both guys and girls. Is this wrong? I'm scared to tell my parents for fear of them disowning me. How should I tell them? How can I get help?

Having feelings for both guys and girls is not wrong, it is only a wrong in the mindset of the general public. I however can understand what you are going through about your parents, though. I think, maybe, that the first step is to confide in a most trusted adult friend on the issue. Maybe after that, test the waters with your parents by asking them a related question on the issue, and judging their responses. But there are many support networks around that may give you a better angle on how to tackle the issue. I hope that the results are in your favour.
Danny.


Posts: 1 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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