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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Common Question

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Author Topic: Common Question
Member # 6512

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This is just a question because I've found this message board and thought someone might have some good advice on it.

I'm bisexual, and have known for about a year. My parents aren't a problem -- my mother actually admits to have a homosexual relationship before she met my dad and I'm very close to her anyhow.

My problem though is dealing with other people. People I know, don't know, thought I knew, etc... they seem to have a bigger problem with the fact that I write a lot of fantasy plots dealing with homosexual individuals. They don't KNOW I'm bi... and I'm worried their various reactions to my forms of writing will mean they won't accept me when/if i ever decide to come out to them.

They're all pretty open-minded people. I've known them all for awhile and some of them have no problem with what I write... though the vast majority DO. Is there anyone that can give me advice in dealing with them? Not only because I would hate to lose their friendships, but because it sort of upsets me when they make derogatory comments to me about homo and bisexual individuals, or my stories.

They don't know I'm bi... but it worries me if they did...


Posts: 2 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5036

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Why does it worry you if they know or think that you're bi?

I'm not trying to sound preachy here, but honestly, wouldn't you rather be with people who are friends with the real you, the bi you, rather than just friends with the part of you hanging out in the closet?

And as a second thing, I'm not bi, but I certainly say, "Excuse me, but that comment is really homophobic, and that's so uncool" when I hear stuff like that.

It doesn't mean I'm anything other than a person who doesn't want to perpetuate racism, homophobia, and other nasty stuff.

[This message has been edited by DarlingBri (edited 01-13-2002).]

Posts: 848 | From: London, UK | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Confused boy
Member # 1964

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Well I have come out to a few close friends and I have been surprised by how unbothered. Well I have only come out to about 4 so far, 1 is gay anyway, 1 is fine but a little uneasy, 1 was completely ok and quite supportive and the other seems a little too interested in the details!

They all make jokes about homosexuals (though I wouldnt class the humour as homophobic). So you cannot be sure by their apparent attitudes. I dont know whether I have just been lucky but I am sure good friends are not going to be bothered and might even be supportive.

Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lisa D
Member # 389

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It is so nice, though, that you have the support of your mom! That must be a really great feeling...
Posts: 442 | From: Dublin, OH USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6512

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It really is very wonderful to have one of my parents supporting me in it. My father wouldn't understand at all, but my mom is so caring and supportive. It hasn't changed the way she feels about me at all ^_^

As to why it bothers me... because they're my friends. Because I've never had many friends, and they're all very important to me... I don't want to push them away, and I DO discourage them from making homophobic or raunchy comments about what I write and homosexuality in general... they just sometimes don't get it...

Posts: 2 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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