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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Coincidental friends-READ IT NOW!!

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Author Topic: Coincidental friends-READ IT NOW!!
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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Scuse the subject line, thought it would attract attention. Anyhoo, here's the story of my really boring life. I used to be friends with this big gang of people, there was 8 of us, 3 boys, 5 girls. Now, I was friends 2 of the girls through school, and the other through one of the girls from school. I was friends witht he boys through a bowling league thing. And the girls were friends with the boys through me. So basically, it was all random friendships. But, out of 8 people, ahem, we had 2 bisexual girls, one lesbian(that's me!) and one gay guy. I mean, I think that was too coincidental don't ya think? Does anyone else have any experiences like that? Where when one person came out, the closet doors came crashing off their hinges?
Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5538

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Seeing as I'm not out...No. Personaly, I can see why though. I suppose it gives people courage to come out after someone close to them has. It kind of lightens the blow for them as they're basically comming out to the same people. It may have the opposite effect though. People may not come out soon after their friend as they may not want it to seem like they're jumping on the rainbow coloured bandwagon. I think it's kewl that you have such a diverse group of friends. Who was the first to come out?
Posts: 86 | From: South Africa | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Confused boy
Member # 1964

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Seems one of my best friends is gay but we are partly friends because of our shared political beliefs which interlink with our personal beliefs.

'An Anarchist is a Liberal with a bomb' Trotsky

Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2748

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I'm not too sure how this one happened, but one of my lesbian friends is best friends with another lesbian ... but I'm not sure if they were friends before they knew about each other or after ...
Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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I was the first out!!! I opened the closet door after many years eating mothballs!!!! Then the gay boy came out. Then one of the girls sort of admitted it to me, and then my best friend told me she was bi.
Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5640

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The same thing happened to me, Slayer. Although, it was a long and drawn out process, and I'm still half-in . The first to come out at my school (quick side note: to understand my school, think of a back-woods, conservative high school of about 300 students) was a girl who was and is one of my best friends. She came out during our freshman year as being bisexual in such an unapologetic way that made me suddenly start to truly question my sexual identity. She was the first person who nudged me towards the closet door.

The second person was my other best friend. He started to come out just to close friends, but because the school is such a small one, and there was so little gossip to go around, he quickly came out to everyone. Anyway, it was about that time that I truly started thinking about coming out. I realized that, Hey, there are two people that I surround myself with on a daily basis that are bi/gay, but, not only that, these same people are willing to be so unapologetic about who they are, so why arent? and decided that it was time to admit to someone, anyone, that I was bi.

Even though Im still partially in the closet (hey, it makes it easier to retrieve clothes!), I think that it does help to have friends, or other people that youre close to, to either come out or be out. Its just that extra nudge that we all sometimes need!

Tim (a.k.a. the Dude).
"Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love" -- Woody Allen

Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6505

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Sigh, I'm still in the closet, know of absolutely zero out-of-the-closet people, and just HAPPEN to have a homophobic friend. Coincidence? Or is Fate just angry at me?
Posts: 3 | From: Canton, Michigan, USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5036

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Originally posted by CursedBurger:
Coincidence? Or is Fate just angry at me?

Hmm, neither, maybe. Maybe it's just growing up?

If you don't know any out people, I'm guessing your friend doesn't, either. But he's not going to be shielded from life forever, and eventually, he's going to find that some people he knows, likes, and respects - like *gasp* you! - are not as straight as he assumed.

Maybe exposure to that will change his mind and break some stereotypes for him. Or her. Or maybe he'll never get over it.

But either way, part of growing up for a lot of people is breaking out of the rigid confines of what we're taught at home, school, or in our communities, and thinking for ourselves and making our own choices about what we're comfortable with.

Hang in there, and good luck!

Hope this helps,

Posts: 848 | From: London, UK | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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