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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » 13 and bisexual?

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Author Topic: 13 and bisexual?
Member # 5145

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hi. first of all, i just want to say that i love your site and i think it's a great idea and can help people make the right decisions on a lot of different matters. but anyway. :P

i'm thirteen years old and for the last six months or so i've been suspecting that maybe i'm bisexual. i know it's alright to be curious and everyone goes through an awkward and confusing time where they're not sure and curious about their identity and who they really are, but i really think i am and i don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

i was just wondering how i find out for sure if i am in fact bisexual, and if i think i am for sure, who can i talk to? i'm sort of lost and confused here, and i was wondering if anyone could help. thanks.

Posts: 28 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Confused boy
Member # 1964

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Being a teenager is a very confusing time and I am afraid there is no way of telling what sexuality you are. Indeed I am 16 and more confused than ever. Some people have a changing sexuality all the way through their lives. The important thing is that you except yourself for whatever sexuality you turn out to be.
Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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I was 13 and gay. It's possible, but its also quite possible that its just hormones for you. I don't mean to belittle your feelings anyway, but trust me, hormones are a deadly thing. We all get confused about everything during adolescence, especially our sexuality. My advice to you is don't get stressed about it. No one's forcing you to choose a sexuality . Just go with whatever you feel like today! You're young, chances are you'll change your mind a million times about your sexuality before coming to rest, or u never will. Just relax about it, and don't push yourself into choosing a label. There's no need to do it and anyone who tells u otherwise is lying

Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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And u can always talk to us here at the boards or to me at my thread in Village People. Always willing to help here
Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5760

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As CF said, there really is no way of telling for sure what your sexuality is, especially at this age. What you're going through can be a phase, or it can be more than that. It's your decision how you wish to label yourself, you can even decide you don't want to label yourself at all, at that's all right. If you need to talk to someone, you've got tons of great people here, all supportive and helpful. You can talk to your friends if you feel you can trust them, or even an adult like a teacher or a guidance counselor. My guidance counselor was really helpful and it was great talking to her, she really did help me sort out my feelings, maybe your guidance counselor can do the same for you.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck, and the most important thing is that you accept yourself no matter what your sexuality is.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

Posts: 25 | From: Israel | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6092

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You can't find out for sure if you're bi. There's no magical test that says "Oh! Lookie here! You're bi!" Alas, if it was only that simple. Some people like labels, some don't. In the end, what matters is what you feel and think about yourself.

"I never said I was a boy." - Tenoh Haruka, episode 92, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon

Posts: 102 | From: SoCal | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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While TenohSetsuna is absolutely right about there being to no test to determine your sexuality Scarleteen does have a quiz that will teach you more about bisexuality. You can take it at:

Also check out the primer on homosexuality and bisexuality:

This sounds like your situation so it might help:

Don't worry about it though. You'll figure out what works for you - even if you can't figure out what to call yourself.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 168

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It is certainly possible to be 13 and bisexual. There is no need to label yourself at this point, but if you wish to, there is no law against it. There is also no law against changing your mind if you figure out that you aren't bisexual one year from now, or ten years from now. When I first came out, I was 12, and I thought I was bisexual. After a few months, I said, "Naah . . . boys don't interest me. I'm a lesbian." So I identified as a lesbian for about two years. That was fine. Then I realized that I do in fact like boys. So then I had to come out all over again as bisexual when I was 14. And you know what? It's not a big deal. It's also not necessarily about being wrong, because I know that for those two years, I wasn't attracted to men. Sexuality can be a very fluid thing, and you only need to pin it down if you feel like it.

"I'll be a Venus on a chocolate clamshell rising on a sea of marshmallow foam."

Posts: 1101 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2057

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When I was about your age, I used to fantasize about women, and about men. However, it was so unthinkable to me that I might actually be bisexual (very religious background) that I pushed those feelings right to the back of my mind. Only in the past month or so have I actually admitted to myself that, yes, I probably am bisexual. However, I was pretty damn unhappy for the time that I supressed those feelings.

So, I think the key is just to be content with however you feel, and whoever you are attracted to at anyone time. Yes, as you grow older, you may go either way, or you might decide that this really is the way you will live your life. But there's no reason to feel guilty for your sexual attractions at any time. Maybe one day you won't be attracted to girls at all-that's OK. Maybe one day you will only be attracted to girls-that's also OK. Just don't stress trying to find a box to put yourself in.

If you want to talk to other young people who are going through similar things, why not try visiting a GLBT youth group near you. I found this list of resources for GLBT people in Canada, which, amongst other things, contains locations of GLBT youth groups. You may or may not find them useful, but it's worth a try.

You wanna save humanity, it's just the people you can't stand-John Lennon

Witness the infinite justice of the new century. Civilians starving to death whilst waiting to be killed.

Manky Confuddledness-My new, improved Blog.

Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5988

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There is no sure test to know if you are bi unfourtunetly you just have to try and work out how you feel and see.Your only 13 your bound to change your mind a milllion times and like everyone has said you don't have to lable yourself.I think it is possible to be 13 and bi but hormones could be playing a big part in this.Being a teenager is very confusing Im 15 and still nowhere near knowing what my sexuality is so don't stress over it and go with what you feel.
good luck.

Posts: 11 | From: Ireland | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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