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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Helping questioning friends

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Author Topic: Helping questioning friends
sapphirecat
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Today, someone told me she was wondering if she was bi. I told her that only she could really answer that, because she's the one that can see what's going on inside her. I added that no matter what she decides, I'll be there for her, and that there's no obligation to tell the world if she isn't straight.

That's all that came to mind right then, but I feel like I want to do or say something more. Is there something more to say, or should I wait for her to get to know herself better? (I remember the first time I drooled over a guy, it was quite a surprise, and I needed a little time to think...)

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Sapphire Cat
You can love me or hate me, but it won't change who I am.


Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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It sounds like you handled it well. From personal experience on both ends, I think it's safe to say that most people don't want much when they say things like that. It's just nice to know that there is someone around who won't reject you.

As far as future conversations go, just listen to her, ask her questions about how she feels and why she feels that way. Sharing your experiences might be a good idea but be sure to let her talk it out. Talking to someone supportive can really help a person figure something out.

Finally, send her here. There are all kinds of great articles and threads on this subject that might clear things up a bit. The Birds and...the Bees comes to mind. And since I'm having fun looking let's do a few more:

Bi the Dozen - a bisexuality quiz

Advice

And at the boards:

Is 14 too young to decide your sexuality?


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jazzpenguin
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You said the perfect things. I just wish that more than one of my friends were that supportive. I don't think you realize how much she will have appreciated that.

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jz


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sapphirecat
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Update!

I've talked to her some more. She's decided that our current language is too restrictive, in that it can't really show a degree of bisexuality. So she's chosen not to wear a label at all, and anyone who desperately needs to label her can do so by examining her actions.

Thanks, ookuotoe... and jazzpenguin, I hope everything works out for the best.

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Sapphire Cat
You can love me or hate me, but it won't change who I am.


Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jazzpenguin
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tanx

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jz


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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