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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Hmmmm

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Author Topic: Hmmmm
Member # 2651

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I was thinking about the whole bisexual thing and sort of understanding the difference between loving and lusting. Well...what if you considered yourself bisexual and you were attracted to both genders, were involved in sexual situations with both genders, BUT only LOVED one gender. Is that wrong? Would you still be considered bisexual?
Posts: 33 | From: Georgetown, TX, USA | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2105

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Basically, it depends on what you think you are. Words are only meant to describe a concept, and if the concept you have doesn't have a word to describe it labeling becomes difficult.

(Edited because I forgot to say what I really wanted to say. Odd how that happens.)

Er, one of the policies of the boards is to avoid hypothetical questions, but for the moment I am in the position you described. *Takes a moment to think about it.*

Okay, I would consider myself bisexual because (for the next twenty seconds) I am physically and intellectually attracted to one gender and physically attracted to another gender. There's attraction towards males and females, even if it's not always very emotional, so I would call myself bi.

You said considered though, so I don't know what other people consider me. I (and this is back in reality right now) am gay, and people who don't know me, and some who do, might consider me straight because a)people tend to assume everyone is straight unless their making out with someone of the same gender or b)because I've never been in any kind of meaningful romantic relationship with anyone so how could I possibly know my sexual orientation. What these people think, or consider, me to be doesn't have a whole lot of impact on what I know myself to be.

What exactly do you mean when you say "wrong"? Just wondering.

I am not who I appear to be.

Gaffer--from under the moon backstage

[This message has been edited by Gaffer (edited 10-13-2001).]

Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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*bows to Gaffer*

You said it much better than I ever could have. Bisexual, queer, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, homosexual. They're just words. Let's use the word bisexual for example. No one can be completely and utterly bisexual by everyone's standards. Everyone has a different opinion on what 'bisexual' means, and there are so many different ways to be bisexual, that no one could ever be everyone's opinion of what a bisexual person *should* be. We came up with these words to make it easier for other people to understand us. So that instead of talking for two hours to explain your sexual orientation, you can say a word and people can get the general sense of what you identify as being, and as they get to know you they'll see how you really are.

If you want to call yourself bisexual, go ahead. Nothing sexual is 'wrong' as long as it's safe, sane, and consenual. There's nothing wrong with only *loving* one gender, and only wanting a sexual relationship with another gender. There's nothing wrong with only wanting sexual relationships period, or wanting another kind of relationship. All those things are up for you to decide for yourself babe.

There's no checklist that says "you must comply with at least 7 out of these 10 regulations in order to be a certified queer", so just be what and who you want to be

Scarleteen Advocate

I want you to be free don't worry about me

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I totally get what you mean. I've been involved with men, and I've felt nothing but lust for them, but I've loved women. I haven't been in a relationship w/a woman yet, but I know that the way I feel towards each gender is very different.


Do not try to find out who I am, I am a shadow and you are the light, wherever you are I cannot be...

Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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