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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » am i?

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Author Topic: am i?
Member # 510

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K. I really like guys, i mean really like guys, but for the past few years i have wondered if i was bi. On day a friend and i were talking and she was joking around and put her hand on my thigh and leaned into me for a kiss, but then she backed off. Ever since that day i have wanted to kiss a girl. I have had dreams of sleeping with girls. now at school there is this girl that i find myself wanting to get close to. So what does this all mean?
Posts: 74 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

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Most people question their sexual orientation at least once in their life, and many find that their feelings and attractions change over time. Although I identify as bisexual, and have for many years, I tend to go through spells of feeling much more attracted to one gender than another.

At the same time, even people who identify as heterosexual occasionally find themselves attracted to people of the same gender. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're bi or gay, just that they're attracted to someone new. Kind of like if you really love apples, but one day decide that hey, oranges aren't your thing, but they're good too. ;-)

If you think you may be attracted to this girl, and she seems to be interested in you, you might want to explore it and see what happens. If you do, please remember to be safe -- latex gloves and dental dams or cut-open condoms are your friends.


Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5485

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i found the same this happening, only i identify as a lesbian femme. i got to know this young man and soon he became my best friend. and then i found myself imagining have sex with him. i think its because he became a.. well, girl friend kinda. a good friend. a best friend. i wanted to share everything with him, and for some reason it was sex.

It's not up to you..

Posts: 3 | From: Portland, Oregon, United States | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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All it means is that you're questioning your sexual orientation, which is a-okay, because your SO is something that changes from year to year, and month to month, and even week to week. There are people who identify as being completely hetero, but there was that one time with the same sex, or there are people who identify as being as queer as they come, but there was that one time with the opposite sex.

Sometimes it's just that a person is so appealing, that you don't care about their gender. Or sometimes you're just down on your luck with the opposite sex so you find yourself wondering about same-sex relationships. Or maybe this is just one of those things that should be kept a fantasy. The only thing I can say is don't rush to conclusions about your orientation, if something happens with the same sex that's great, but don't push it or write it in stone (and even if you do, stones cna be broken).


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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