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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » BIG problems!

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Author Topic: BIG problems!
Member # 4507

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Please help me!
im 15 i go to school and i think im bi. firstly theres school no-one likes me they all call me gay and i need help.The boys hate me and tease me although the girls like me and most of them wanna go out with me (you can see the problem there cant u) but recently the boys have sorta took it up a level not just the odd comments but more like bullying.
i cant tell teachers for obvious reasons and my family h8 gays and that sorta thing.Nextly theres this guy hes older about 16,17 called John-paul millington i really fancy him like mad! its the sorta love where when hes by me i cant even breathe i miss my breath and my heart jumps well anyway hes bisexual and everyone knows but hes got a girlfriend! (theres the problem) i cant stop thinkin bout him and hes smiled at me before and flirted in his own ways to me but im really confused!
I hope some1 can help me school is really depressing me and ive got to the point where ive tried ending it all ive tried 2 o.d twice and cut my wrist with a razor i know i sound weird and dramatic but the pain just felt better than every thing else so please..

Posts: 2 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 678

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From reading your post, sounds to me like your classmates are calling you gay as an insult without realising that you're bi. They're ok with the other guy who you said everyone knew about. So they're probably just being as$holes, just saying things they think will hurt you without thinking about the 'content' of what they are saying. So the good news is its probably not your sexuality they don't like, they're just being immature. Ignore them. (if you don't react they go away, I can say this from some experience. They just want to get a reaction). And people generally mature A LOT after GCSEs anyway, and will not be so childish. But until them, I'm afraid you just have to be strong, things do get better. Honest. I knew I was bi from about hte same age and didn't come out till I was at uni 3 years later with a group of people I felt close to, which I never had at school. Don't come out just because you are, come out because you want to.
Do talk to someone. Do you have a close friend (but don't rush into telling before you're ready - better to post here) who you can talk to? If you want, I can give you my email (mods: is that ok?) cos I've been in a similar situation and would have liked someone to talk toat that time.

I can't give any advice on you cutting yourself (I'm sure I've seen posts here about it that you could find) but I do know that its not a good idea. If you can be honest about who you are then you're a good person, and shouldn't try to do that to yourself. The world needs people who can be true to themselves.

Anyway, this is long and my laptop battery is about to run out, and I don't want to lose it all. Hope I helped some.

Posts: 54 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2105

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Yes, yes, by all means as long as it's not on the boards.

Hmmmmmm. Well, about the whole school bullying thing, you can talk to a teacher. In fact, I strongly recommend that you do. It's your teacher's job to make sure school is a safe learning place for you and if the jerks are making your education difficult I whould do something.

I know, too, how it is to be in love with someone who's "taken." The exhileration is wonderful but overall it can be very depressing. The whole ending it all thing, just remember that people don't get mad at killers for murdering what someone has already done, it's for getting rid of what they might have done. It's all about what you can do as one person and that's a frighteningly large amount, so don't get rid of it by killing yourself.

Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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Well, it sounds like unfortunatly you have a very closed minded school. I'm assuming that they call you gay like it's a bad thing. You say that all the girls want to go out with you, well maybe that's why the guys call you gay (I notice a lot of guys will call a girl a dyke if she turns them down).

If the boy's are bullying you that's harrasment, and a lot can be done about it. You dont' have to tell your teachers or the dean or whoever that you think you may be bisexual, just tell them that the kids are bullying you and insulting you. As a student you have the right to come to school and not be afraid or not be able to concentrate or study because you are being harrassed, I think that every school has to have a policy like that, and it's there for a reason.

As for the guy who's taken, we've all been there. It's great that you have a crush, but...remember that he's just a crush, and he has a girlfriend, and it isn't your place to interfere with that, even if he's flirted with you or whatever. If he's taken, then he's hands off unless his girlfriend and him have some kind of agreement. So, lust all you want, but...

And, about the cutting thing, you need to get help. You don't sound weird or dramatic, you sound like you have a little problem and you need to talk to someone about it. Trust me, I started cutting and self injuring, and I did it for five years. And maybe some of it had to do with school and stuff, I don't know. But I do know that I had a problem and I still have it, and I know that you can't cut all your pain and feelings away because they're still there even when you choose to ignore them. It's not a road you want to go down, get outside help if you can't help yourself (and I think that most people can't).

Well babe, that's about all I can say, you can post here anytime (for all your relationship problemos, and there is Support and Recovery, and then the Village People if you want to start a vent thread about your life). Good luck

Scarleteen Advocate

"Just say no" fights teen pregnancy the way "hey, cheer up" fights manic depression.

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7061

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I am in the same position. I am 14 and I think I am bi. More than 75% of my class hates me... I have so many rumors about me being gay (and they don't realise that i may actually BE gay.) I have a friend that (basically) I'm in love with... shes straight. Some thinks she is bi, and just denying it, and will have a lovely wake up call someday. Anyways, I know how you're feeling. The sad part is that I go to an all girls school, and the amount of bi/les girls should convince homophobes to get over it. As other say "When you are homophobic the gays come out of the woodwork to corrupt little children, but when u are a gay teenager, no one is like you" or something like that.
Hang in there. Sounds like he is very interested in the fact that there is another bisexual guy around, and he is interested in you. I'd just wait for the relationship with his gf to end, and then take your chance! I would tell some school faculty that you are being harrassed.
I too have depression problems... My mom made me see a doctor, and I am now on a SSRI (basically antidepressant/anxiety med). It really helps. I'd consider it. Overdosing and cutting isnt a way out. I do have a little problem with dependence on sleeping pills. Instead of cutting and suffering thru pain and anxiety, I just sleep... (tho I actually need them as I am an insomniac.) I am here for you. I hope everyone lays off, and good luck! (sorry if this was long/off topic.)


Posts: 21 | From: LA, CA, USA | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7728

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Hi bibyeboy!! I'm 15 and from England too!! I'm really sorry about people calling you things - it's nasty and they are just narrow minded. I fancy girls sometimes (I'm a girl) but most of the time I fancy boys - I suppose that makes me bi. PLEASE don't cut yourself. You will regret it. I used to do that, but I got some councelling and I've stopped. I know that sometimes physical pain numbs the mental pain, but the pain will get less as time goes on. Please talk to someone, don't just suffer in silence.
*lotsa hugs from da bajjah*

Posts: 388 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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