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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » i need help

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Author Topic: i need help
Member # 2455

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Rainbo_high     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i'm 16, and my bf is 17, a senior in HS. i'm only a jr.
we've been dating for almost a year, (our anniv. is on thursday) and i love him. but i'm also really questioning my sexuality right now. i've always know i was Bi, but i think maybe i'm not really all that attracted to guys anymore. its ripping me apart and i don't know what to do to figure out myself without hurting my boyfriend and ruining what we have.

does any one have any advice? please?

"I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet, she was just like kissing me. That i kissed won't change the world, but i'm so glad i kissed a girl"

Posts: 4 | From: st.paul, mn, usa | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 713

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Are you still attracted to your boyfriend? Do you want to continue to date your boyfriend? Because if you are and do, then it doesn't really matter right now if the rest of the males in the world don't do a thing for you.

You have your entire life ahead of you to figure out your sexuality. It's doubtful that your relationship with your boyfriend will last that long (it might, but it's rare when something like that happens), so you have a long time to figure out who you're attracted to without worrying about hurting him.

Having said that, if it's really bothering you, talk to him about it. I wouldn't recommend, at first, dealing with the subject in a way that it looks like you might want to start dating a girl. That might upset him, especially if he gets the impression that you're going to dump him for a girl. Instead, just go to him for comfort, the way you would with any other problem. I'd even go so far as to suggest reassuring him that you aren't going to leave him for somebody else.

If you really aren't attracted to him anymore and want to end the relationship, then do so. I don't have a lot of advice on dumping someone, though, so I can't help you there.

Posts: 266 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2720

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I think that you should just explore that other side of your sexuality and see what you like best. And only tell your boyfriend about it if you've decided you'd rather be with a girl at that time. Besides you only probably have a few more months to be together, that's if he goes to college or something of that sort.
Posts: 2 | From: Texas | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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