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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » a ? 'bout reactions/pre-consevied thoughts...

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Author Topic: a ? 'bout reactions/pre-consevied thoughts...
~You*Know*Who~
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Member # 1412

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How did people react to you when they found out some of you guys where gay/bi...or if you're strait how did you react when you met your first gay/bi person.

I'm strait, not that its relavent to anything.

A month or so ago I met the first bisexual person I have ever met and I knew she was bi
before I met her and thought it would be weird when I did meet her and when I did meet her and it did matter at all, It didnt
even come across my mind. it didn't occure to me untill after I thought about it a week ago that "Hey, I'm suprised I was so comfortable around her...I didn't think I would be."

I was brought up being taught that you have to except people for what they are and that you can't expect any more or less than that,
and you have to love them for that. (regardless if that had to do with race, sex orientation, what they did ect.) And I think that may have been why it didnt matter and I really don't know why I thought that it would be weird other than it was just a first.


Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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Hmm. I'm hetereosexual but about your question on the first gay/bi person I met.

Actually I first came into contact with a transexual my mum used to work with when I was young. Maybe 10 or so. She looked a little masculine but I never thought more about it. When I was older I realised she was a he by birth. BUt by then it was like nothing. It just seemed totally natural.

I have met friends's friends who are gay and bi but I only came into contact with gay/bi friends when I came into Poly (my school) when I was 17.

Honestly, I had no reaction to them. To me, homosexuality and bisexuality is totally normal. Now, if they had purple skin or 5 noses, I would think they were weird but I hoestly felt nothing.

They are wonderful friends now and gee, I just don't see them in any other way or feel anything really special towards them.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lynne
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Well, in ninth grade I found out two of my female friends were bi and dating each other. It weirded me out, actually, but only because the idea of my friends being sexual disturbed me, regardless of what gender they were being sexual with. Since then, one of them has changed her identity to straight, I believe, and the other now considers herself gay. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, although I feel a bit sorry for the lesbian because she's somewhat in the closet and her parents aren't sympathetic.

Around then I also met a male-to-female transsexual over the Internet. Again, it didn't bother me. My biggest problem is figuring out which pronouns to use.

The reaction to my own orientation is a bit trickier. I identify as asexual (can't find a better term), which in my case means that I'm not attracted to either sex. I've only come out to a few people -- a couple didn't react badly, but I've had one person not believe me. Even though the latter reaction was because the other person couldn't really comprehend not lusting after others (as opposed to thinking I was lying or some such), I've been wary of telling others since then.

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Milke
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Lynne, that's so strange . . .I thought one of my friends was the only person I could really describe that way. It seems to be the way he's supposed to be, but it doesn't sound right, though I guess being gay can sound kind of weird too, so that doesn't mean much. But I'm glad I know he's not the only one like that!
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wuwuwuwu1
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I always wondered what orientation you would call someone that was attracted to neither sex. The closest word I could think of was non-sexual, but that sounds strange. By the way, I never met anybody who was neither gay, bi, nor straight.
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Milke
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I don't think being asexual is nearly as common as being straight or gay, but I think there are a lot of variations on sexuality; now that I think of it, I even know someone I'd class as auto-sexual.
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wuwuwuwu1
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What does auto-sexual mean? Is asexual a proper term for describing a person's orientation?
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Milke
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Auto-sexual, auto-erotic would refer to someone who's sexually complete in themselves, which is to say, the only sex they want is masturbation. Asexual . . . I've never heard it as a 'proper' term, but I don't see why it shouldn't be if it's accurate.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sexperk
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The only problem with the term "asexual" that I can see (I've also used it to describe myself) is that it has a definition in the biological field which can be confusing.

Biologically, "asexual" refers to an organism that can reproduce without another organism's contribution, like an amoeba that can split off one glob to become another amoeba.

You and I are using a different definition (the one just given is excellent, IMO.)

I guess it all depends on your definition. I no longer describe myself as a-sexual, though I understand that place. I actually think the term "pan-sexual," coined by Scarlet, is more appropriate for me at this time. Since there are more than two sexes, I can't technically call myself bisexual.

I just mean that sexual type is not a determining factor in whether or not I get close to a person. I get close to a person because I like their strength of character, and then I decide whether or not sex is an issue, no matter what genitals they carry.

Good luck to all of you folks. I like to see people thinking deep and forging new paths in the world. Keep it up.

------------------
Honesty is telling others the truth. Integrity is telling yourself the truth.


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Milke
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Sexperk, what you have is, by my definition, fluid sexuality, and to me it seems the most natural kind.
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Kechara
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WEll, I'll answer both questions (people's reactions to finding out I'm bi, and my first reactions ot finding out other people were).
FIrst exposure to the idea was when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade or so. There was a lesbian couple at a christmas party we were at. Mom explained that some people fall in love with people of the same gender. My reaction was basicaly, "oh." I really didn't pay it much thought until high school. previous to then, it was only grownups- my aunt is friends with a lot of gay men, for instance. It didn't affect me, personally.
When I got to high school, however, that was no longer so. It's a private high school that attracts a lot of people who just don't fit in in most high schools. I think about 1/4 of the school population is openly gay or bi.. adn that's a low estimate. It seemed kinda weird at first. but I got used to it fast. It still was somehting that *other* people were, though. Took me 2 years of being clueless to realize that the only difference between my minor obsession/crushses of boys vs. the ones on girls was that out of my desire to Have A Boyfriend, I focused a lot more on the guys, wheras I assumed that I was just becoming good friends with the girls (and that of course I kept noticing how pretty they were, who wouldn't when it was that obvious...). untill a particularly strong one hit my over the head and it became undeinably a crush. Which meant that suddenly I began noticing how often I got minor crushes on girls...
as far as reactions people had when I told 'em this? Lesse. Well, as I said, weirdo school, very accepting. reactiosn from friends were things like "oh." or "didn't you say you were straight last year?". From my mom it was rather bothersome though. I kept telling her, casulay mentioning it implying it or whatever, and she kept forgetting, over and over... Finaly it became too much, I blew up at her and yelled about how she never remembered.. two weeks later she said "remember when you said you might be bi.. were you just saying that to make a point, or were you being serious?" My friends and I have in general met a lot more resistinace to the idea of bisexuality than to being homosexual, for some reason.

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Rainbo_high
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most people acted totally open and accepting when i told them, i never experienced anything bad until this year.

i was in science and the teacher was out of the room the whole hour dealing with a fight.
someone made a glbt slur, and i confronted her about, and we argued and i ended up coming out to my whole class as Bi. it was bad, we had huge discussions about it for days, i got in trouble for swearing, and no one else did because no teachers heard their gay bashing. i'm also a member of somehting called Speakers Bureau, which goes to classes and talks to kids about homophobia, and stuff liek that, we're developing a junior high curriculum right now, and are going to start an elementary school one soon.

------------------
"I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet, she was just like kissing me. That i kissed won't change the world, but i'm so glad i kissed a girl"


Posts: 4 | From: st.paul, mn, usa | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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