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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Am I a lesbian?

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Author Topic: Am I a lesbian?
Member # 1707

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Okay, I am pretty sure I am a lesbian, but I have never had any relationships with girls. When I masterbate, I fantasize about myself with a girl. I am sexually attracted to women. I have several crushes on women. Thinking about women turns me on. But sometimes, I find some guys cute. But guys don't turn me on. In fact, I find the thought of penises disgusting. Also, I have never had a relationship with a guy either. So based on this information am I a lesbian?
Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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and ya'll know how much I hate caps!!!!!

Darling this question has been answered again and again and again, but *sigh* I'll answer it for the 60th time anyway.

#1: You don't HAVE to label yourself. It's not like you're going to write "gay, dyke, queer, bi, trans" on your forehead in permanent marker and it will never leave. People change, things change, feelings change, you can be straight, queer, and bi in a year and then start all over again. I don't understand what is up with people's infatuations with labeling themselves. Whatever you want to write on your forehead is in Crayola marker, it washes off kay?

#2: It sounds like you very well could be a lesbian, it also sounds like you can be bi. Only you can answer your question. It's quite normal for queers to find someone of the opposite sex attractive and it's normal for straight's to find someone of the same sex attractive. You choose to define who you are. It sounds like you're pretty sure you're a dyke, and there's nothing wrong with that.

*sigh* Don't you wish they had a book called "How To Be A Queer" complete with the secret queer handshake so you know for sure if that cute girl is a friendly hetero or if she really is flirting with you? Life would be easier, no?

Hugs, Happiness, Pixie Dust,

*writes BISEXUAL on forehead in orange and black Crayola markers*

PS: No I don't have Halloween spirit, orange and black are my school's colors.

I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 100

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The best answer to the question "Am I a lesbian?" is almost always

"What do *you* think?"

because really, YOU are the only person whose opinion matters. You get to decide what to call yourself, and you get to decide what feels right to you. You also don't have to decide anything at all. It's really perfectly okay to be attracted to the people who attract you without feeling the need to label yourself in any way, shape, or form.

Welcome to Scarleteen.

By the way folks, we do not encourage people to include their e-mail addresses in their posts. These are public forums. Many people come here to read what people write. We have no control over who comes to this site. Some of them are people who may decide to use posted e-mail addresses to send harrassing e-mail to people. Please recognize that when you post your e-mail address, you are taking this risk. If you want to remove your email address from your post, please feel free to edit it out (or ask one of the administrators to do it).

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3094

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I guess the best thing that I could tell you is DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. Sexuality is a very complex thing. It is not something you will figure out over night. If you think a girl is cute flirt with her, see if there is a response. If you think a guy is cute, flirt with him, see if there is a response. Take your life one day at a time and you will wake up and know for sure eventually. It is nothing to worry about, it's just a process of figuring yourself out. Try finding a boyfriend (or girlfriend, but I think boyfriend would be easier?). I'm sure that actually being in a relationship will help you find out who you are.

"We barely have time to react in this world, let alone rehearse, and I don't think that I am better than you, but I don't think that I am worse. Women learn to be women and men learn to be men, and I don't blame it all on you, but I don't want to be your friend." Ani DiFranco(Letter to a John)

Posts: 9 | From: Niagara University, NY, USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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