I dunno what i am, i dunno if i am bi, i don't have enough experience to really know. The thing is that people say a lot of hurtfull things around me, about bisexual people, and gay people and lesbian people, I can stand up to my parents when they say somehting i disagree with. But when peers say something i dunno what to say. Because i dunno what my orientation is, and after you defend something they always ask "why are you bi/lesbian?" and i feel so stupid saying "i dunno.." what should i do?? the worst thing anyone has said to me is that bisexual people are just super horny and will take anything. because that was an insult to two atrabutes of my sexuality. and it hurt a lot. i just laughed. what should i do????
I know exactly the way that feels - I spent five or six years in the same boat. It's rather confusing and painful to try and figure out a deeply personal matter like your sexual identity even without all the crap that everyone is forced to listen to at one point or another. When they ask you why it bothers you, or whether or not you're bisexual or lesbian, mention the fact that it doesn't matter in that context. Because it doesn't. Nobody has to put up with hearing stupid and intolerant remarks like that, no matter who they are attracted to. And whoever said that about the super-horniness of bisexuals must have a frickin' hole in their head <sarcasm>well, if they do, they better keep it well-covered by their hair, or us 'super-horny bisexuals' might try to have sex with that, too</sarcasm>. Anyway, even though you can't help the fact that it hurts when the rude and intolerant say such things, you gotta just ignore them. If you let it get to you, then eventually you'll start believing it, and then you'll be down at their level.
best of luck and love, jupiter
------------------ 'maybe you'll keep me from ever being happy but you're not gonna stop me from having fun...'-ani di franco
'i weave for you the luminous web glowinthedark threads all neon like'-bjork
'you only exist in what you do'-federico fellini
Posts: 55 | From: West Sand Lake (aka Cow Pasture), NY | Registered: Aug 2000
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Nemo, I think Jupiter's absolutely right. Whether you are gay or bi or straight or whatever makes no difference. Do you have to be Black to be against racism? Do you have to be Jewish to be against anti-semitism, or a woman to be against sexism? No, of course not. Standing up for what is *right* and *ethical* is something you can always do, as long as you are capable of spotting an injustice and saying something about it.
So the answer to "Why do you care, are you gay?" is "I care because I'm not a bigot and I think stereotypes and prejudices stink."
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