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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » I fancy my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, please help!

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Author Topic: I fancy my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, please help!
Member # 96164

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Hi, I have nobody I can talk to about this and I really need some advice, sorry for the length. I have always identified as straight. I have been going out with my boyfriend for around 2 months, and its been going great until now. One of my best friends, M ,is his ex from a long time ago and we have recently become closer than before, and our relationship has become more and more flirty.

At the last two parties we went to, we spent a lot of time together and made a lot of jokey come-ons to each other and had quite a lot of physical contact, to the extent where other people have commented on it. My boyfriend knows we had experimented a bit a long time ago, and I feel like the flirtation is beginning to bother him. Also, I feel that the flirting is not really all a joke, and that she may be genuinely attracted to me. I also feel the same way about her, and am guilty in escalating the flirting.

I want to stop so I don't hurt my boyfriend, but I can't bring myself to. M is the first girl I have ever liked, and as we are already close friends we have a sleepover arranged. I can't be sure it won't lead to more.I feel like cancelling this and stopping the flirting would risk losing her as a friend, but continuing could lead damaging my relationship with my boyfriend or putting myself in a situation where I would find it very hard to resist cheating.

I love him and I don't want to lose him, but I can't ignore my feelings for her and find it impossible to stop flirting with her. What should I do?

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