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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » My Partner is bored...I think?

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Author Topic: My Partner is bored...I think?
Member # 49994

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My partner and I have been dating for two and a half months now and I thought things were going very well until these past few days. Normally, whenever we were together we would just mesh and have a really nice time. Now when we hang out he seems disconnected and won't talk to me.

Like when we are at school, he doesn't really make an effort to hang out with me. He won't hold my hand or hug me, I have to initiate everything and it wasn't like that before. He also doesn't try and sit beside me, he just goes where ever his friends go.

My friends have noticed it too. During a sleepover at my friend's house they all wanted to know if we were having problems because we don't seem like a couple anymore. And I don't know what to do about it. I told him about what they said and he said that they were weirdos and that we were fine, but I don't feel like we are. It's just a mess and I don't want to break up with him, but I just don't know what to do...

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Have you brought this up with him at all? If he seems withdrawn and distant from you, then the bet way to find out what's going on is to ask him.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 93292

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Me and my boyfriend hace been together for over a year and i know hes shy but i feel as if he makes no effort to talk to me ever.

everytime i try and bring up a topic he just seems to say small things back like "yeah, um i dont know, sure, okay" i mean i feel stupid

and worse of all he doesnt act like a bpyfriend i feel like the boyfriend and i want to be the girlfriend for once. i just feel like he doesnt want me.

ive broughten this up upon him and he just says he sorry and i then feel mean and its so complicated........... i dont feel happy but i dont wont to be without him........... im so confused and scared. i just want to cry everytime i think about it

Gina Riddell Mackey

Posts: 2 | From: Amador County | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 36725

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I'm not sure what you mean he by "I feel like the boyfriend" but it seems like you have some really strong ideas about gender roles - so just wanted to point out there's really not a right or wrong way for a person of any gender or orientation to act.

However, I would say since it seems he may be going through something but doesn't really seem ready to talk about whatever it is with you, it may be best to just let him know you're concerned and there if/when he needs to talk - but then to allow him a little space to work through things. Even in really great relationships there are things we all have to work out for ourselves a bit before going to people we care about.

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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