Hi. I'm a college student, a cisgendered woman, and I guess I'm sort of bicurious? I'm mostly attracted to men, but I do have some interest in women, too. At some point, I am interested in possibly dating/having sex with a woman to see if it's something I'd want to do...but I really don't want to make anyone a victim of my experimentation. How do you explore your sexuality without hurting another person?
Posts: 29 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011
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I think it can help to remember that when someone is new to being sexual with someone else, they're exploring their sexuality no matter what their orientation is. In fact, we're really kind of doing it our whole lives, because it's not like it's something that ever stops growing and changing, or where we suddenly know all there is to know about it. You know?
Mind, just like I'd hope you'd realize that a relationship or sex with one man couldn't tell you how you feel about all men, the same is true with women. If you do sate/get sexual with one woman, all that's likely going to tell you is how you feel about your own self and sexuality at the time, and how you feel about that one woman, not all women. One relationship can't tell us if we will or will not want another with other people, ultimately.
Anyway, the same "rules" apply here as they do otherwise around dating in ways that are caring and kind. We're talking basic humane treatment of people, basic respect and courtesy. Being forthright about where you are and what you want is another biggie. So, for instance if where you are right now is in a space where you have some romantic/sexual interest in women, but are just starting to ask questions about it and feel that out, and want to try dating women but it's something you're just starting to try and feel out, then you can tell the other person just that. That way, they get to decide if that's something they're comfortable with or not.
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