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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » What's it like to have a girlfriend?

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Author Topic: What's it like to have a girlfriend?
Calamity Jane
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Member # 70370

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I'm bisexual, but I haven't ever had a girlfriend before, the only time I asked a girl out she rejected me strongly and said that she didn't think Jesus would like that, so I was just wondering if any other bisexuals could tell me if there are any better/worse things about having a girlfriend? (Not including sex because I masturbate frequently and don't feel the need to have genital/manual/oral sex yet)

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Love.
What a curious thing.

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Karybu
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It's really not possible to answer that, because every individual and every relationship is different. To boot, those differences don't really have much to do with gender, but with the unique people involved in the relationship, whether they identify as male, female, genderqueer, agender, or something else entirely.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Calamity Jane
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Thank you, sorry, I kinda realized I was being a bit insensitive after I posted but I didn't know how to get rid of it. I was just craving love and wondering what it was like, which led me to ask this :-\

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Love.
What a curious thing.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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We can still talk about this if you want to, Calamity Jane. It's okay to have posted this, it's just a bit tough to answer in the way you worded the question.

If you do want to talk about it, have you had any kind of romantic or sexual partner before, of any gender?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Calamity Jane
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Yes, I have, I've had one serious boyfriend before, but we never engaged in any kind of sex.

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Love.
What a curious thing.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Okay, so then you have some sense already of what it's like to have a girlfriend, too.

In other words, having a partner is...well, like having a partner. And the ways in which partnerships differ are usually much more about individual people and partnerships as a big picture than about one factor of them, like what gender we and our partners are.

When gender makes a difference, the place it tends to can be things like:
• How our relationships are treated by the people around us based on their ideas about our gender, that of our partner, and the gender-mix of our partnership. For instance, in relationships between two women, you may have to deal with some biphobia or homophobia you don't in relationships with a guy (like what that friend said to you), or with sexism applied to you and your partner you might not otherwise.

• How you, yourself, interact differently, if you do, with a partner based on your partner's gender. Some people find that a difference in gender changes their experience of a person or a relationship, and/or that they behave differently with people of different genders.

• Same goes with your own feelings about being in a relationship with another woman. For some people, they'll feel just right and not be any more challenged than with a partner of a different gender/sex than they are, while other people will feel even more at home, and others will feel very challenged.

Are those the kinds of things you were asking about?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Calamity Jane
Neophyte
Member # 70370

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Yes, that's really it. I understand now, thank you. You rock for making scarleteen, by the way.

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Love.
What a curious thing.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No trouble!

Thanks! And you rock for being part of the awesome community that makes it so great! [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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