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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Making love to yourself (via sex with someone else's body)

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Author Topic: Making love to yourself (via sex with someone else's body)
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 40774

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I just had a really well-meaning straight person suggest that there must be something beautiful about how in "same-sex love" [read: sex] there's an aspect of it where you're "making love to yourself."

I can't call up an experience where I've ever felt that way. All the female-bodied people I've had sex with have felt unique, and different from me. And, I'm not sure if I was having sex with my doppelganger I'd ever feel that way either. I'm having some trouble wrapping my head around the concept.

Have you ever felt like you were having sex with yourself through contact with someone else's body? Were the genders or sexes of those people related to that feeling?

I'd love to hear queer people's responses, but if any straight people have experienced this, I'm curious too.

without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

Posts: 407 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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I can't say that that's a dynamic that sounds very familiar to me as being expressly about same-sex partnership.

For sure, there have been times in sexual experiences where I felt like the lines between myself and my partners felt very blurry, but I don't think that's been about anyone's body or body parts being the same or similar so much as the kind of emotional or metaphysical dynamics.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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This definitely sounds to me like someone who hasn't experienced something making odd statements about how it would be.

I have not ever experienced the feeling of having sex with my own body through someone else's - with either gender. I'm not even sure what that is supposed to feel like. Like Heather said, sometimes the lines get blurry on what body part belongs to whom, but no, can't say I've experienced what your friend described.

The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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