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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » My Mom Doesn't Believe Bi People Exist...

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Author Topic: My Mom Doesn't Believe Bi People Exist...
hopeandjoy9
Neophyte
Member # 53601

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...And I want to come out as bi to my parents. It would be so much easier is I was a lesbian - I know my parents support gay rights with all their hearts and have gay friends. I don't now what my dad thinks, but my mom said that bi people are just sluts or confused, and my older sister agreed with her.

She knows I'm not a slut; I never go to anyone else's house, bring anyone home, or really go anywhere. But I don't want her to say I'm confused and am really straight/a lesbian.

My parents are also the only people I could come out to - I live at the very edge of the Bile Belt, but I now for a fact that they are all very religious in not very tolerant sects of Christianity and are very conservative. I've even heard them make homophobic comments.

I want to come out to them because I feel like I'm lying to them and I know for sure now. What can I do?

Posts: 2 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, it's really hard to know what to say when someone is saying they believe something we know just isn't true. It'd kinda be like you telling me they thought the earth was flat.

Because we could probably tell them all about many of us who have been attracted to people of all genders for all of our lives and who are not confused or whatever on earth a slut is, and show them people who are heterosexual or homosexual who ARE confused and who do fit whatever definition of slut they have, and it probably would not make a bit of difference. [Frown]

In other words, they're likely thinking and saying the things they are out of bias, not because they just need education. Education can help with bias, but only if someone wants it.

If you're sure there's a very strong bias like this in your home, it may not be emotionally safe for you to come out right now. can I ask what you want out of coming out?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hopeandjoy9
Neophyte
Member # 53601

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I really don't think my mom has a dangerous bias - she's Catholic, but she's also very supportive of gay rights. I don't think I'd suffer too terribly emotionally; it's more likely, knowing my mom, that she just won't believe me.

I just want to let someone in real life know, because I've been holding it in for a while now. It's also the safest place - as said, everyone else I know won't be.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Do you feel like you can handle it if she doesn't believe you, or suggests the things she has of other bisexual people are also true of you?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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