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Author Topic: sk8er girl
Ste-Funnie
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There's a girl in my choir class, who is bi. She's a sk8ter (Let's call her that). Last year, I was on the lunch line, and she was behind me. She said hi to me, and asked me if I liked some girl. I was closeted, thinking that sk8er was straight, so I said "no I'm straight". She was like, "Oh, well I'm bisexual". I wished I didn't say that, but I didn't wanna change my answer b/c I was closeted and there were people around. Now that I know she's bi, I like her. She is hot.

Now she sits behind me in choir. I get shy to say a word. That's what happens. I'm like a guy where I bite at talking to girls. Especially the fact that the more attracted to a girl I am, the harder it is to talk to her.

I talked to my mom and my aunt about it. At first, my aunt said that she could've been just saying that so I'd change my answer. But then, went on her page and it said that she like men and women. So that means she was serious.

Someday, I wanna ask her out. I've known her since middle school. Now I'm a junior and she's a sophomore. So at least I know her. The thing is, I wanna get to know her more. She seems like maybe she might feel the same way about me. I don't know so, but it's possible. I regret telling her I'm straight cuz maybe it was my chance, either with her, or that girl she asked me about liking. That happens. When I was straight, I liked some guy, and some people told me I should wait for him to ask me out. I told them that if I do, what if he does like me but is too shy. Therefore I should let him know I like him. It did turn out he didn't. In this case, the only reason why she'd think I don't have feelings for her is b/c I said I was straight. I haven't talked to her about dating yet. If I do, I'll tell her I'm gay, and it'll increase a good chance for her. I ain't getting my hopes up, but I mean that if she thinks I'm straight, I have no chance w/ her, whatsoever. But if she knows I'm queer, at least it'll still be possible for me to date her. Not definite tho. Just a good possibility. I should at least just give her a teensy suspicion that I like her. Usually if I give someone a tiny possibility in there head that I like 'em, that's what increases my chance. I don't need to get all crazy but flirt with her just a pinch.

I was wondering if anyone can tell me how I should get with her? What should I do?

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady
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Wow, you really do like to post on these forums don't cha? Lol.

Well, if you want to give her an idea that you are interested in her (and/or women), you could just start paying more attention to her from now on. You can do simple things like just say hi to her whenever you see her, kinda like breaking the ice between you so that next time you can make conversations with her without feeling awkward. Ask her random stuff about choir class, use it as a reason to talk to her as well. It will be less embarrassing for you. I mean you don't have to do anything special to let her know you're gay, don't think of it like that. Just think of her as a person, how you would want her to know that you like HER.
Plus this way you will get to know her a bit more too.

Hope this helps!

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Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so whenever you're lonely remember this is true, somebody somewhere, is thinking of you :)

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Ste-Funnie
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Thanks and tell me if this is true or no but, what I saw on this TV show "Drake and Josh", they said that all you have to do is compliment a girl's feature and walk away, then she'll chase you. Is that true or just made up fiction?

So all I have to do, according to what YOU said, is say hi when I see her, and ask her questions, like stuff related to choir. One problem is, partly from my autism, whenever I try to get to know someone (only if I'm the chaser), whether its a crush or a friend, it always happens that I'm always the asker and she's always the answerer. I try to give her a chance to ask me something so we can have a convo, but all I hear is crickets chirping. What should I do?

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady
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That thing from Drake and Josh does work sometimes, it's the whole 'bad boy' look and it makes people curious - but it's not the way to go. Not only because it's mean, but you should always be yourself. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

Yes, that's all you have to do. Making conversation will let her know that you like her company and you are interested in her.
It could be that you are always the asker because you only ask. If you are talking to her, you can just tell her things without turning it into a question. Like tell her about your day, give her things to comment on. Tell her what you did, what you thought about something, random stuff like what made you laugh. Instead of just trying to find out things about her, it's perfectly okay to talk about yourself every now and then, and this will make her ask questions.

If all you hear is crickets chirping and she's not really keeping the conversation up, you could try changing the subject, you could try talking about something she is interested in, because then you will know that she has things to say. This way you will find out what she likes as well, don't be afraid to experiment! The important thing is to notice her reactions and then go along with it.

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Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so whenever you're lonely remember this is true, somebody somewhere, is thinking of you :)

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CoatRack
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The thing with fiction (again, not sure what Drake and Josh is, but I'm assuming it's fictional) is that it is fiction. There are writers. Person A could be THE BIGGEST JERK EVER to Person B and STILL end up dating them by the end of those 22 minutes because that is how it is written. These are not real people with real lives - they exist on your television set or your movie screen or in your book and that's it.

People in TV shows and movies and books never have to go home and deal with the consequences of their actions, positive or negative, unless it is written into the script.

I would stop using fairy tales and TV shows and movies as a basis of understanding for how I plan to interact with people.

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
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Lady: FYI, I ain't trying to be something I'm not. I'm not talking about be a guy and copy off of Drake and Josh. I just wanted to know if it was realistic or not.

CoatRack: First you've never heard of iCarly and now you don't know what Drake and Josh is!! OMG! Those are one of the most popular shows on Nickelodeon! Let me guess; you don't know what that is. Right? If that's the case, it's the name of the company where it's made. Do you know the show "Spongebob Squarepants", "Rugrats", "Fairly Odd Parents", etc. Those are my favorite shows. If you don't know what they are I'm going to explode! I mean, not that I have anything against it. It's just shocking.

Also, Sometimes, I can't understand your words. No offense. Sometimes your words are different that Idk what they mean.

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CoatRack
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What can I say? I've never owned a television - not while I was growing up, not in college, and not now, after I've graduated. It's never been something that seemed necessary to me.

Unfortunately I've seen far, far, far too many episodes of spongebob - I worked at a residential treatment center for children and we watched a LOT of spongebob.

And if I ever use any words or phrases that confuse you go ahead and ask me to clarify!

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CoatRack
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Do you want to go ahead and let me know what was confusing about my post and I can clarify?

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
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Oh, I get it. Y'all don't watch TV. At least you know Spongebob. My little cousin doest have TV and she know all TV shows b/c she watches TV at other people's house. No wonder you dk these shows. Y'all gotta check that out anytime you watch TV at someone else's. You'd love those shows.

I still watch those things for entertainment. Not to learn social things off of there.

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bonnie.N.Clyde
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Ste-Funnie, you should not rely on Nickelodeon! It might steer you wrong, as I found from watching Doug as a child. [Razz] I don't know about these new shows, but what I think of the Drake and Josh approach is it seems like a stereotype for a guy to do that. Many boys are socialized to act like they dislike women, and are told that this will have the girls "falling all over them". This is very problematic.

If you want to get to know this girl (or any), be yourself. Ask questions that show you are interested in what she's up to. Ask her about skating, what shows she likes, what music she likes. Or anything you want to know. I would say simply be friendly in general and be honest. I think Heather replied once to you about specific things to say to a person of interest. Those are helpful.

Good luck.

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"And when everyone is super, no one will be."

-Syndrome, "THE INCREDIBLES"

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Ste-Funnie
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Gracias

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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