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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Really...confused?

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Author Topic: Really...confused?
Member # 49726

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I guess I never thought of falling in love with someone of my own gender until it happened at some point.

When it did. It left me not only heartbroken, but it left me with a HUGE number of questions that I can't answer myself, and no one else seems to know either. [Frown]

But the number one question, I have for myself is...

Does having sex with someone your own gender count as a first time? Or better yet...does not having been penetrated by a penis count? I don't know how that even works or if I was technically a virgin anymore after having had this relationship.

Posts: 9 | From: Unknown | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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Hi SweetBlood,

I'm going to link you to a couple of posts on virginity. Virginity is NOT a scientific or biological fact, it is purely a social construct- which means that there can not be a One True Definition of it.
So, whether or not you consider yourself a virgin any more is entirely dependent on how your define virginity. And heck, if you disagree with any or all definitions of virginity, you can chuck the term out the window- it does not have to be a part of your sexuality if you don't want it to.

If you want a bit of perspective, here's my personal decision on virginity and sex: I don't really find anything helpful in the concept of virginity, more important to me is to have meaningful (fun, safe and sexy) sexual experiences with people i care about and to learn from them.

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Member # 49726

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Whoops. Sorry for not looking at this earlier. But it REALLY helps with what you wrote.

Thank you!~

Posts: 9 | From: Unknown | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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This link is also particularly relevant:

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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