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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » How to turn someone down?

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Author Topic: How to turn someone down?
SnailShells
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Member # 35485

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A friend of mine (Let's call her Sally) is being pseudo-stalked by a new friend of hers (let's call her Jane). Sally likes girls. Jane is aware, identifies as straight but has lately been acting pretty intensely towards Sally. Sally thinks Jane is cool, but doesn't really enjoy her company that much, and is uncomfortable with the amount of attention Jane is giving her. We're talking around 40 texts a day, lots of asking about where she is, hanging around in Sally's room after everyone else has gone home (sometimes asking to spend the night) and offering to go out of her way to be with Sally. Sally feels like a jerk because she's not interested in flirting back, but doesn't know if there's a tasteful/mature/kind way to ask someone to slow their roll and express non-interest.
What do you guys think? I've tried to give advice on the situation, and while I know there are going to be some hurt feelings no matter what, I'm drawing a blank on the best way to go about this.

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I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. --John Waters

Posts: 206 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Natalie H
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Member # 48229

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I think the best phrase to use in this situations is, 'Thanks but no thanks.' Sally can tell Jane she's flattered that Jane's interested, but unfortunately does not have the same feelings. She should tell her that, yes, she does think Jane is cool, but she just doesn't want to be anything more than friends.

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Bicycle? I prefer a homocycle.

Posts: 118 | From: Houston | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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